Aliens want to communicate and they decide to use you and your personality as the base model for all humans. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

46 points

UN: “Boy, they really like using Star Trek memes to convey their thoughts…”

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11 points

All the Me clones: Sokath, his eyes opened.

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2 points

Riker: 🍆 💦

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5 points

Turns out Star Trek was just a retelling of actual intergalactic life

Aliens: Who the hell told them all this stuff … I don’t look like that? … My ass isn’t that fat … Is it?

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3 points

“These beings have documented a perfect understanding of warp core, matter transmission, and matter replication technologies, yet they refuse to actually use any them and are stuck on a single planet fighting wars over limited resources.”

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32 points

Well as someone with ADHD, depression, and anxiety, as well as being on the spectrum, initially we’d be kinda screwed. I have spent a lot of time in therapy and have done a lot to manage it all, as well as developing empathy for myself and others, so not so bad.

However, I choose to be a non-theistic Satanist and an anarchist, so a lot of other people are going to be fucked. Especially those that deserve no empathy due to their hoarding of resources and exploitation of people and the planet.

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8 points

Could you elaborate on the Satanist part? It’s the first time I encounter that specific term.

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15 points
*

I met a member. And he explained to me that they are pretty much atheists but from the point of the law they enjoy religious protections.

Basically if you call yourself atheist, you won’t get any religious protections, because you don’t have any religion. Everyone knows that FSM is a joke, so that wouldn’t fly either. So they created a religion. They chose Satan, to get expected reaction from devoted Christians, they don’t believe in Satan though (unlike wackos from the Church of Satan). You can read their 7 tenets, which sound quite reasonable: https://thesatanictemple.com/blogs/the-satanic-temple-tenets/there-are-seven-fundamental-tenets

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9 points

This is actually really reasonable. What are the “religious protections” you speak of?

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5 points
-1 points

Ummm… doesn’t that contradict what satanism is all about?

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3 points

Well, paganism should be a more acceptable name for it, just to distinguish between the two.

I completely agree with the first part though, nothing wrong with that. In fact, we should all be leaning towards that if we wanna survive.

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2 points

The Church of Satan believes in the supernatural and would be the traditional satanists.

The Satan’s Temple are essentially atheists that formed a religion to enjoy the same religious protections as people in other religions.

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6 points

I’ll gladly take aliens trying to cure me of an ADHD and depression i don’t have if they can also cure us of religions and capitalism.

More importantly you going to therapy and improving yourself the way you described it, that in itself is sincerely the best exemple we can show an alien, ever.

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4 points

Intergalactic Therapy Industrial Complex rubbing their hands

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2 points

Well yes please, fix us.

Although i doubt we have anything worthy of hand rubbing for them. But hey, at least we’re making jobs!

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5 points

Seems i am going to be just fine after all.

Seriously though how did you write something so personal and yet described my life so well.

Like the only difference is that you are a non theist satanist anarchist. While i am an agnostic spiritual anarchist having Jesus (but not god) as an example of a good.

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3 points

I like that it takes becoming satanic to develop a civilized view of the world. Rather I like how completely we have twisted the world with TOTAL BULLSHIT that people feel the need to claim a force for ultimate evil is what makes them want to make the world a fairer, less shitty place.

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-3 points

Your mental state does explain your political beliefs.

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24 points

Well, there’ll be a lot less billionaires pretty quickly, from there it’s gonna be a lot of references to star trek, doctor who, dead philosophers and general southernisms.

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4 points

lol … aliens arrive in 1960s era London police boxes to try to not alarm us as they make first contact

Aliens first message: … I say my good man, it’s quite a coincidence to find you in this part of the galaxy. I feel pecked by a hundred chickens, fuller than a tick on a big dog and fine as frog hair and not half as slick to greet you on this fair morning under god’s blue sky.

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3 points

… I think I’m in love with you.

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22 points
*

Human population is very empathetic, but very kinky.

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2 points

Aliens: … this one has a bright red ball strapped to their mouth … I suppose it’s a requirement for all of them

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22 points

Humanity is screwed.

They like being alone, don’t like loud noises, will find a reason to leave a situation with more than 3 people in a small area. They don’t have any sexual desire and will be most happy to go through life without ever having intercourse. Probably going to go extinct without outside intervention thanks to that, better intervene to preserve the species.

They want to hibernate when it’s cold outside. Cold = anything below 70f.

They’re herbivores though so at least they don’t destroy their planet by mass farming the cruelest and most inefficient food source possible. Silver lining?

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4 points

Excellent source of creating a slave race? … to build that interplanetary space gun to destroy XMH3003 and those stupid Morkahons

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