trying to stop being so thin skinned:
I had an online discussion with a random, we had a short but intense exchange until he replied and then blocked me, robbing me of a chance to reply.
I feel hurt because I couldn’t reply. To me that means he won. I feel insulted and angry.
Yes, this is something I should talk to about with a shrink, but the therapist I contacted hasn’t replied yet, so I might have to start looking for a new one if this one ain’t reliable.
In the meantime I turn to the second best thing I can think of: this channel.
I can try to rationalize it: I cannot change it, I’m letting that guy live free in my mind, letting it go is the rational thing to do.
Except that here I’m not being rational, but emotional and I don’t know why this triggers me so much.
Not getting the last word triggers me. How would you solve this?
Stop caring what other people think. Within reason of course, no need to go full psychopath. 😆 They don’t really care what you think so why waste the energy and time? Save it for people who demonstrably give a shit.
Sometimes it helps to log off. The internet is a machine that constantly spews shit, there will always be terrible people to argue with. There’s no guarantee any more that the guy you were arguing with was even real. “Touch grass” is a meme and sounds callous, but spending time outside helps.
It is what it is.
Who cares who has the last word? What does it matter? Of what benefit is having the last word in a matter when it is almost always used to be hurtful? Would it not be better to let the other person have the final say so that the confrontation ends as soon as possible? If you can apologize, do so, even if you think you don’t have to. It does no harm.
Only a weak person believes that being strong means digging their heels in. It takes a truly strong person to willingly walk away.
You could find solace in hard determinism.
This was always going to be the way it happened.
Your actions were determined by your biology and life experience up to that point. Likewise, the other person acted how they did according to their biology and experience.
The gears of the universe turned in the only way they were going to turn, and the outcome you got was the only one that was ever going to happen.
It doesn’t mean that you can’t now act upon it moving forward, but hopefully there’s some calm to be had in knowing that what has already happened was always going to happen. It’s just a tiny artifact of the vast and intricate clockwork of the universe.
Write your response in a letter. Put “stupid fuckface” in the to section of the envelope. No return address. Drop it in the mailbox.