127 points

In unrelated news 2,725 Russians died in a bizarre radioactive tea poisoning incident. The poison would have been fatal had the fall from the open windows not happened.

Just terrible. Complete mystery.

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16 points

Mystery? What mystery? Polonium keeps the samovar hot, everyone knows this. They were energy conscious patriots trying something new so the boys on the frontline could keep themselves warm using the wood and coal that otherwise would have burnt to warm their tea. Patriarch bless these fine folks who died in the pursuit of keeping our selfless heroes cozy in the trenches.

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1 point
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1 point

polonium would be actually a decent choice, if you picked some heavy beta or gamma emiter you’d get massive amounts of water radiolysis which means that over time tea would be bleached out and you end up with water again. another good isotope would be plutonium 238

and samovar probably needs to be made out of tungsten or kept in reinforced concrete vault to keep radiation in and not out

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59 points

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35 points

There are good Russians out there

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7 points

Yeah, the ones that stayed home?

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-27 points
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18 points

I don’t think the Russians have much say in whether they end up in Ukraine. The alternative to refusing is probably worse overall.

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1 point
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5 points

Um, fighting for NATO is based

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3 points
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2 points

In Ukraine/Russia, sure. In Iraq, eh…

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27 points

live off the land ❎

recruit off the land ✅

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20 points

St Petersburg has it out for Moscow?

checks notes

Checks out.

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