I’m 41F. I was married but separated 8 years ago. I was still young but was very traumatized and never really wanted another relationship. Lately I’ve been feeling a little lonely and would like to meet some new people but I moved and don’t have many friends here and the ones I have are younger and do younger people things (like going out at night. I’m too old for that lol). I wanted to meet some people my age, friends or dates, but almost everyone is married. I do cooking and French classes but again, only young people do that and I’m the “odd old lady”. I think people past 40 don’t really have hobbies or money to spend on them. I’m overweight so I can’t really use apps, and to be honest don’t really want. So how a single woman without kids (can’t have it) meet people?! Or do I just give up?! lol
At work, at the gym, at the coffee shop, at the library. At yoga, at the beach, Pokemon go raid hour. Mostly at work, but I’m older than you and that’s where I meet people and have made friends as an adult.
Not all hobbies require money, that’s an odd take. I do think it’s harder to meet people when you don’t have a family though, that part is true, connections are made through other people so it’s more work to build a network if you are just one person.
Great age to meet men, though, if you are looking for that - don’t worry about your weight, plenty of guys either like a plush build or don’t care. You will do fine in that regard if you are looking.
I met my partner via Hinge app. We started hanging out on a regular basis and the relationship happened organically over time.
The world of dating apps sucks these days. I liked when they were in the form of email. I would write long opening messages that revealed my personality and met people pretty easily. Now they’re modeled like test messages. I am not great a stupid small talk. It made things harder for me.
Good luck! It’s easy to feel down about meeting people at this age, but also one of my best friends is someone who I met via a dating app. We both knew we weren’t right romantically, but remained pals. She and her husband come join us for movie night and such. I guess I’m saying don’t lose hope.
like going out at night. I’m too old for that lol
WTF.
I’m 49, you are absolutely not too old to be going out. You’re also not to old to be in the middle of the mosh pit.
lol! I meant I don’t have the patience for young drunk people anymore. I only know a couple of 28yo here and went out with them one night… guess who was puked on? lol
Drink more, be the puker.
Also, in re: being overweight and not being able to use apps… I’d strongly suggest you work on changing that now. The longer you wait, the harder it’s going to be, and being overweight makes being old really hard. Hard as in, knee, hip, and back damage. Trust me when I say that getting into a solid diet and workout plan is not fun, but being fit and losing weight is much easier than dealing with the long term consequences.
I took a long break during the pandemic because my gym refused any safety measures (shockingly, a lot of people died from covid-19 in my town /s), and getting back to the kind of levels of fitness I had in 2018 is hard and painful.
I was done with partying when I was in my twenties, honestly. It doesn’t give me anything. I can’t hear people talking, we always lose each other in the crowd, it’s stuffy, people are obnoxious when drunk, etc etc etc, blech.
I much prefer a social thing at someone’s house with at most like 5-8 people, maximum. Preferably max 4. Then everyone can be heard, get a chance to speak, not too loud, bathroom close at hand, cheaper drinks that don’t empty your pockets, access to more fun things not available in a club/restaurant like video/board games, movies, etc etc etc.
access to more fun things not available in a club/restaurant like video/board games, movies, etc etc etc.
Beercades exist, I’ve been in a bar/brewery that had a collection of board games to borrow, etc. Also, karaoke at hole-in-the-wall Japanese and Korean places is super fun.
I’d start looking at stuff like meetup.com, fun clubs in your area (climbing, gardening, aquariums, biking), and particularly singles adventure clubs. They are out there, and they are really fun. Not dating. Just making friends.
One night it will be swing dancing, the next week whitewater rafting. You get to choose what you like! They rented one of our chartered boats for a 4th of July out on the water when I used to bartend in college. Lots of cute men and women, generally 30s and 40s. They really seemed to be enjoying it :)
Same way a man meets people: meetup.com
Was going to share this. I’ve had a lot of fun on there in the past. One of the best parts is if you’re in a good sized group, nobody is weirded out of you go say hi and introduce yourself and start talking because they are all there for the same thing.
I’ve also found some great activities, like random capture the flag with dozens of people that I haven’t played since high school otherwise.
