I’m 41F. I was married but separated 8 years ago. I was still young but was very traumatized and never really wanted another relationship. Lately I’ve been feeling a little lonely and would like to meet some new people but I moved and don’t have many friends here and the ones I have are younger and do younger people things (like going out at night. I’m too old for that lol). I wanted to meet some people my age, friends or dates, but almost everyone is married. I do cooking and French classes but again, only young people do that and I’m the “odd old lady”. I think people past 40 don’t really have hobbies or money to spend on them. I’m overweight so I can’t really use apps, and to be honest don’t really want. So how a single woman without kids (can’t have it) meet people?! Or do I just give up?! lol
What about volunteering groups? I’m in my 20s but volunteering groups tend to have people on the older side. It helps that people in their 40s and over tend to be financially stable and would spend their free time to volunteer.
Do they have to be in person?
Well not really but I don’t like dating apps that’s like shopping from china lol
Have you tried volunteering? Gets you out, you’d meet people with similar interests, and to top it off you’d be doing good in the community!
Or do I just give up?!
Whatever you do, don’t give up. Nobody deserves to live in loneliness. There are many like you out there - people are lonelier than ever before. Whatever you do, try to fight against that.
I’m not depressed or sad, just a bit lonely because I moved far from the place I used to know. Nothing that dramatic lol
I’m not trying to be dramatic. It’s just a fact that people are getting lonelier and it’s honestly really sad.
I would find a group or club related to hobbies you have. Hobbies can start as a common interest, and as you get to know each other, things can grow from there.
It’s not a guaranteed “relationship finder” but you’ll at the very least make some friends.
I hope it’s not too personal of a question to ask, but are you straight, lesbian, or bi? Because each one of those kind of comes with its own set of suggestions. You obviously do not have to share if you do not feel comfortable with that. I just don’t want to be giving a lesbian hints about finding a guy, you know?
Okay, so with hobbies, stuff you’re already interested in is a good start, but it might be helpful to explore some “guy hobbies” in the sense of like, find some hobbies that are more popular with men, and then find one that sounds like it could be interesting to you, and try to find a local group based on that. If you pursue groups with larger percentage of men, it’s easier to find someone you’re potentially interested in and vice-versa.
Just make sure you’re pursuing a hobby you’ll actually end up liking. Don’t be afraid to be like “Yeah, this actually isn’t for me.” That’s up to and including “These men are just not receptive to a woman in this space.” (You don’t want to waste your time with gatekeeping men)
Like, you’d be hard pressed in tech groups, which kind of have a history of being stuck up when it comes to women in “their” spaces (nevermind that women programmed the computers on the moon missions back in the day because typing was “women’s work” *rolls eyes).
Football or soccer might be a little easier, there’s still a lot of women in those circles, and less dopey men gatekeeping, at least in my experience . There’s still some of that, but I think women being into sports is more accepted than it used to be, compared to tech spaces.
A lot of guys are into role-playing tabletop games like Dungeons & Dragons, and while you can run into a lot of way too sheltered men in those groups, you can also run into really talented men who are good at math, acting, and strategy who are relatively well-adjusted. Stephen Colbert famously played a lot while he was growing up, and he attributes it to at least some of his acting and comedy skills.
