187 points

My mom laminated mine when I was like 6 years old. It still has my 6 year-old, childish signature on it. Every time I use it someone says “you’re not supposed to laminate these”, and then they accept it anyways. So who’s the fool now?

permalink
report
reply
27 points

My ex’s dad laminated his whole ass birth certificate. He had a bitch of a time fixing that lmao.

Though I think people ask for birth certificate less often than they do our SIN (and also our SIN cards are actual literal cards in Canada not just pieces of paper).

permalink
report
parent
reply
14 points

I always thought my birth certificate was the little vanity one with my feet prints on it. I learned it isn’t when I actually needed a birth certificate for the first time. Since I live in an entirely different State now it was a bit of a PITA to get the real one.

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points
*

They stopped issuing cards and just print it on a full 8.5"x11" piece of paper now actually lol.

permalink
report
parent
reply
143 points
*

Not to defend the social security number system (because it’s terrible for unique identification of individuals and when it was created it wasn’t even intended to be used for that purpose) but you’re not supposed to carry it around with you all the time. It’s supposed to be in a drawer/safe/fireproof bag with the rest of your important documents, and only brought out when you need it.

permalink
report
reply
122 points

Why make it a card then? If it’s meant to be stored as a document then it should be the size of an envelope, or a standard A4 sheet.

I keep mine attached to the envelope sized paper it came on. But it shouldn’t be a card shape, that encourages people to carry it. My grandpa always carried his.

permalink
report
parent
reply
55 points

Don’t mention A4 paper, it scares the Americans. If any of them could read, they would be very afraid right now.

permalink
report
parent
reply
95 points

A4

Is that a type of rifle? I’ll take 12!

permalink
report
parent
reply
45 points

Using entirely reasonable standards that most of the rest of the world has adopted is too hard for us for some reason.

permalink
report
parent
reply
23 points

Today I’m going to use paper to feel superior to someone else.

permalink
report
parent
reply
18 points

This week on “Things Non-Americans Think Americans Don’t Know About!”

permalink
report
parent
reply
12 points

Hey now, I can read…but, what’s this A4 paper you speak of?

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

Idk. Maybe because there’s only a few pieces of info on it. Someone would say “why do you need to use a whole sheet of paper for just this?”

permalink
report
parent
reply
39 points

Every time ya try to fix the NatID problem though suddenly it’s a surveillance state system and not just an efficient nexus for federal services and permissions.

permalink
report
parent
reply
40 points

There are some people who don’t want a national ID system because they think that’s like a biblical prophecy. Somehow those people are still allowed to operate heavy machinery.

Some people don’t want it because they don’t want a functional government.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

Ain’t that the truth. Fuckin’ lunatics.

permalink
report
parent
reply
9 points

That’s the thing. At this point, anything that could replace ssn cards will be much more technical and much more invasive.

permalink
report
parent
reply
11 points

No, it would be less technical since it would cut down the number of cards you have to carry around, and be less invasive since it would drastically raise the difficulty of identity theft

permalink
report
parent
reply
9 points

Eh… You guys all use credit cards anyway

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

oooo yeah my ID card is so invasive, it has my birth date and a photo on it!

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

Does it even matter when data brokers already know everything about you and happily sell that info?

People freak about national IDs while happily giving all their info to websites like amazon or facebook. It’s insane.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

We have the same issue in Australia, and your driver’s licence basically fills the same purpose.

But honestly, we should just have a national ID system, and just make it optional, like a driver’s licence already is… (You just get asked for other forms of ID)

permalink
report
parent
reply
16 points

I’ve lost my place to stay more than I’ve lost my wallet.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

For real. Mine’s about 40 years old and still looks pretty mint.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

It’s also techinally illegal to use for identification unless it’s being used for tax purposes. Yet so many people illegally ask for it and barely anyone protests. https://www.justice.gov/opcl/overview-privacy-act-1974-2020-edition/ssn

permalink
report
parent
reply
79 points
*

Somebody laminated my birth certificate. But what are they going to do about it, unborn me? Wait… will they?

Edit: What if somebody laminates my death certificate? 😭

permalink
report
reply
39 points

That’s how zombies are created.

permalink
report
parent
reply
12 points

What is dead laminated may never die.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points
Deleted by creator
permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

We’ve really gotta regulate these laminators.

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

Never going to happen. The lamination lobby has deep pockets.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points
*

They could make you go get another one when you try to use it, which is a pain in the ass.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points
*

How often are you even using your death certificate? I mean, yeah, the discount at Disneyworld is a sweet deal, but otherwise?

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

Late but I think it’ll depend where you are and what security features birth certificates where you are have. Where I am, the paper has a unique feel to it and also has one of those little hologram type sticker things on the back. So I imagine laminating it would cause issues in official circumstances where they want to feel the paper. Also not sure if it’d affect the sticker things or not, but the heat from the laminator could cause damage if done wrong

But if the BDM department where you are is lazy and literally just print your info onto an official looking piece of paper, I’d argue the point. I don’t see what laminating it would do in that situation, although when it comes to government departments, they don’t tend to be very flexible. If you were just showing it to verify your identity or working rights for a job or something I doubt anybody would refuse it in either situation

permalink
report
parent
reply
68 points

I’ve heard blur is not destructive. Please use a paintbrush on 100% opacity if you do this

permalink
report
reply
46 points

When I post pictures with blurred information, I replace the info with something trollish and then blur it. Nobody appreciated that so far. :(

permalink
report
parent
reply
36 points

Depends on the kind of blur. Some kinds can indeed be almost perfectly removed if you know the used blurring function, others are destructive. But, yes, don’t take that chance. Always delete/paint over sensitive information.

Source: we had to do just that in a course I took a long time ago.

permalink
report
parent
reply
15 points

I prefer sampling the surroundings, typing out a different number or text over it, then blurring with a non destructive effect.

permalink
report
parent
reply
13 points
*

Name: Phil McCracken

SSN: EAT-MY-NUTS

Just for anyone who tries

permalink
report
parent
reply
8 points
*

Ah man, I remember when they caught some pedo creep who used a non-destructive blur on the CSAM materials he produced that included his face. So satisfying.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

He only spiral blurred his face… So they just did it in the opposite direction. It was beyond stupid

permalink
report
parent
reply
8 points

wouldn’t you also need to know in what kind of pattern the blur was applied. I am sure if you do it multiple times starting from multiple non identical partitioning of the region, it will be impossible.

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

You’re severely underestimating the power of weaponized autism.

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

Always paint over sensitive information.

Not in PDF tho. There, the stroke is saved in metadata…

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

I’ve switched to a mosaic blur. Looks neat and always destructive.

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points
*

Actually not always, there is a script that can recover text from mosaic’d screenshots if the font and pixellation technique is known. I just use a fake mosaic – the easiest way is to paste a bitmap of non-confidential text from elsewhere in the screenshot and then apply the filter.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points
*

Thanks for that.

I’m glad I use really huge pixels though. Would be hard to crack these:

permalink
report
parent
reply
52 points

Why do people downvote posts like this? What’s the problem? It’s funny, true, and in the right community.

permalink
report
reply
64 points

Some people just downvote for weird reasons, so I figure it’s not worth worrying about. Someone once told me they were downvoting every post I share that has bright colors because they use dark mode… Lol

permalink
report
parent
reply
16 points

I always flip a coin for whether I upvote or downvote. It’s not really about trying to make a decision, I’m just trying to get my thumbs in shape for that thumb wrestling tournament I have coming up.

permalink
report
parent
reply
9 points

They were letting you know you have brite ideas!

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

Sometimes I feel an odd catharsis from simply existing on the internet, and this comment captures a lot of why

permalink
report
parent
reply
15 points

Sometimes, I try to swipe to go back and accidentally up or downvote things.

permalink
report
parent
reply
12 points

Because they are being stupid. You are not supposed to carry it with you. You only take it when you need to for something like the DMV. Otherwise it should just be filed away. A social security card is NOT ID.

Also, you can get a FREE replacement.

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

Thanks for the link! The last time I looked into replacing my long lost SSA card the government was much less “online” and it was going to involve spending money and traveling long distances. Thanks to you, I’m expecting a letter from SSA in the next few weeks to confirm my ID, and then I’ll get a new card issued.

permalink
report
parent
reply
8 points

Lack of fiber in the diet

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

Except it’s not true. Social Security cards are useless for identification purposes. I haven’t seen my SS card in 30 years. I’ve never been asked for it or needed it in any way for at least that long. 

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

Some people just need a reason to hate and avoid any personal accountability. They’ll take anything they can get, they’ve had a shitty day/year/life and somehow beating up on a faceless stranger feels morally acceptable to them. The truth is, they are in fact just awful people, looking to justify their shitty behavior by correcting grammar or downvoting a complete stranger. Trying their damndest to avoid looking in the mirror. Whilst the rest of us humans, have a shitty day but roll with it. Because if you can’t let it roll off, you will never be happy.

permalink
report
parent
reply
0 points
*

Yes, however

they are in fact just awful hurt people

Some are less familiar with kindness than others.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point
*

It’s funny, true, and in the right community.

That’s never stopped anybody before.

Seriously, more than once I’ve posted something completely benign, innocuous, and appropriate in a niche community that gets maybe one post a month, and that post receives a score of -10 or something. I don’t understand it, but if you want niche communities to thrive, you have to quit caring about downvotes.

Personally, I think that they should only have upvotes, because downvotes are a negative experience for users, and they’re too easy to game. You can have bots, sock puppets, you name it. And having a post with a negative score tells you nothing about why it has a negative score. Was it offensive? Who knows?

permalink
report
parent
reply

Some servers only allow upvotes. Some only show local downvotes, so it at least minimizes their impact.

permalink
report
parent
reply

Funny

!funny@sh.itjust.works

Create post

General rules:

  • Be kind.
  • All posts must make an attempt to be funny.
  • Obey the general sh.itjust.works instance rules.
  • No politics or political figures. There are plenty of other politics communities to choose from.
  • Don’t post anything grotesque or potentially illegal. Examples include pornography, gore, animal cruelty, inappropriate jokes involving kids, etc.

Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.

Community stats

  • 4.5K

    Monthly active users

  • 1.1K

    Posts

  • 19K

    Comments