Yes! Battlefield Earth.
I stayed for the whole movie because I couldn’t believe how bad it was.
To me battlefield earth falls under the “so bad it begins to loop back around into Cheesey fun” category.
I especially love how what are essentially cave men find F16 fighter jets from the past and not only do the jets and old fuel work, but the cave men know how to start them and fly them effectively.
L Ron really outdid himself on that gem.
Not even F16s, Harriers. Notoriously hard to fly and constantly breaking down.
That’s right, Jesus. I haven’t watched that movie in like 20 years so I just took a shot in the dark at what jets were really popular at the time and we were flying the shit out of F16s during the Gulf War.
Harriers were fucking nightmares for the mechanics and avionics techs that worked them.
Didn’t the humans use the “learning machine” to teach themselves advanced knowledge? The same machine the alien overlords put Jonnie in to teach him their language?
Ok but the book is actually really good though. It’s hilarious that they never explain how they learned how to fly and operate the machinery
The book is fucking terrible but it’s great pulp scifi. It’s obvious that by the time he wrote it nobody dared edit him, so there’s multiple parts of the book that repeat but worded slightly differently, and in general the plot etc just aren’t great and the whole thing is thinly veiled Scientology propaganda (“Psychlo catrists” – psychiatrists, ie. 'ol Ron’s worst enemy). But if you take it for the pulpy weird mess it is, it’s fun.
I don’t know that I’d call it really good, but it made more sense. At least until they nuke the alien home world and the whole thing blows up because it’s hollow and filled with explosive gas for some reason.
Still, you can always tell illiterate motherfuckers when they trash talk a novelist, even a pulp novelist, based on a movie adaptation.
That movie suffers from the source material being fucking ridiculously long and weird. Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 is like 1000 pages or so. Also it’s L Ron Hubbard so the book is just weird and creepy at times.
They used to get paid by the word back then.
My ex GF made us leave in the middle of LOTR: Return of the King.
She is my ex for unrelated reasons.
I saw the South Park Bigger, Longer, and Uncut movie in theaters as a kid. I lived in a small town adjacent to a small city, and there weren’t many other people in the theater. During the scene where the boys are watching the Terrace and Phillip movie and the theater-goers walk out, so did everyone else in our real life theater. It was surreal. We had a great time watching the rest of the movie by ourselves.
My dumbass father liked eragon, I couldn’t even give it a fair shot as a movie bc I was too caught up in how they absolutely butchered the storyline of the books.
So I went and saw it on a weekend with a buddy just because we liked seeing movies. We went into it with no idea what it was about besides “epic dragon movie”. I watched so many fans of the book get up angrily about 35 minutes in and storm out.
We talked to one of the theatre employees and they said that they had never received so many refund requests for a bad film before Eragon.
Are we talking Star Was Holiday Special bad, or is it the sort of thing you could watch while laughing at it? Because my friend has a big weed stash and needs to know about movies like that.
Out of curiosity, what was wrong with it? I never read the books, and watched it years later on late night cable, and it seemed ok. Typical pre-teen bland fantasy. Perfectly fine on enough weed
They tried to blend all the books together and fucked everything up so bad a second movie is impossible.
Just a couple things I remember:
Galbatorix, the king and one of the last dragon riders, constantly claims he wants “his stone” back. That “stone” is a dragon egg and he should know this better than anyone.
Urgals, which in the books are basically orcs, are literally just humans with helmets.
They gave Durza, the villain of book 1, Shruikan, Glabatorox’s dragon. Which was then promptly defeated. Thing is, when dragons die, their rider is likely to die as well(galby is a special case, his original dragon died already). This is especially problematic because {MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD} Galbatorixs final plan is to breed his dragon with the lead characters dragon to bring back the dragon race he destroyed. Also, Galbatorix’s dragon would have most likely the strongest remaining dragon heart (“eldunari”) which are the source of galbatorix’s powers.
Tl;Dr: it’s not worth finishing the series because the entire rest of the plot would make no sense. The book series is literally my favorite series with >10000 series read.
That wasn’t Shruiken, that was, like, a shadow dragon he summoned with his shadow power or something. Created for the movie so they could have a more exciting climax than a one on one sword duel ended by an elf magically shattering a ruby as large as a house directly over said duel before diving into it on the back of a pissed off dragon, providing the distraction needed for the hopelessly outmatched hero to stab the unholy abomination through the heart. That might sound awesome to you, because it is. Shruikan was the post credits reveal.
It’s been so long, I just remember that they generally cut a ton of major elements of the story and completely changed the end bc they had no intention of ever making a sequel, at least not one remotely based off of the books. I remember being excited to see certain things happen, and they just… didn’t.
How has nobody mentioned the live-action Avatar: The Last Airbender movie? I saw it as a kid and even I wanted to leave.
