[Eupalinos of Megara appears out of a time portal from ancient Ionia] Wow, you guys must be really good at digging tunnels by now, right?

177 points

Fuck everything about these tunnels.

  • He proposed them to stop the city from implementing a subway system (fuck that shit).
  • He first proposed them as being effectively a subway/hyperloop but then stopped when that cost too much money
  • He then turned them into just underground private roadways accessible only to teslas.

Fuck that shit. The problem the city was trying to solve wasn’t “We need more highspeed roads” it’s “We need to be able move more people”. And musk torpedoed that with a pointless underground tunnel.

Subways would have been way cheaper to operate, served more locations, and would not have been this stupid exclusive system for tesla owners to show off an LED light display.

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29 points

Have you seen the tunnels on Google maps? They are essentially a tunnel from one side of a parking lot, under the main street, to the entrance of the convention center across the road. A distance you could walk in 5 mins on street level, except your way is blocked by the 6 lane road without pedestrian crossing.

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19 points

So instead it could have been an overwalk?

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9 points

No, not enough revolutionary hi tech BS to showcase your electric cars to the public, and no potential to get into talkshows to brag how you “solved traffic” because you are such a brilliant mind… /s

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23 points

If I was the nafarious type…

I’m sure one could buy an old used Tesla that barely works.

Then drive it into the tunnel with a gas can and lighter on the passenger seat. Have a friend stand in the way blocking others from driving in behind you.

I wonder what would happen if it caught fire in the tunnel?

Would sprinkler systems take over? Would the tunnel burn and collapse as you walk out the other end so it’s never used again?

Good thing I’m not that type of person…

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35 points

Gas can would leave the wrong kind of residue and would exonerate the Tesla as a victim of a false flag eco terror attack. Use the inherent problems with lithium batteries to start a fire. A lithium fire is one of the types of fire that firemen will straight up avoid until the dedicated response unit arrives. A lithium fire will not leave survivors. It starts with an explosion and gets worse from there. Given enough time this happen naturally in that tunnel; it doesn’t need help.

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12 points

You don’t bring your own tesla to the tunnel. You use the ones they provide which probably all have the speed limit mode enabled.

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16 points

Nobody forced the city’s hand, though. They could have told Musk to fuck off.

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87 points

The agency ultimately fined Boring more than $112,000 over eight violations it deemed “serious.” The company is, as Musk businesses are wont to do, contesting it.

We’ve gone from wrist slaps to someone blowing gently in your face.

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“Fuck Elon Musk!”

“I would advise against that. His tunnel has been found to have skin-burning chemical sludge in it. Good way to lose your penis.”

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23 points

ensure you are wearing industrial-grade condoms

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13 points

Don’t, that’s what Big Sex wants! Trust me, you don’t want Big Sex cumming after you like that. Unless you do, I’m not kink shaming.

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12 points

New Intrusive Thought Unlocked!

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10 points

I would advise against it for many other reasons before you even reach his oozing sludge tunnel.

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6 points

“But consider: horse”

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35 points

Can we revoke his government contracts now?

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32 points

God I hate Elon Musk. What a fucking twat.

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13 points

he really is the worst isn’t he

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32 points
*

He is. Did you see the crap he posted on Twitter about the Baltimore bridge? Fucking dumbass.

Edit: found the screen cap:

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27 points

The repair should be put to commercial bid with a massive incentive for early and safe completion.

Fast, safe, cheap: pick two.

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22 points

Yeah, let’s reuse steel that has been weakened by unknown amounts and rebuild the bridge with the exact same flaws that caused it to be vulnerable to this type of collision.

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10 points

This is major RTS gamer brain. In those games, the scarce resources are the raw materials, because it’s more dramatic to send your harvesters into the unknown to be attacked by enemies, while the actual knowhow on how to build stuff is passively “researched”. So if you need to build a bridge, you magically have the planners and the engineeers and the building crew ready and waiting, but they need steel and stone to start, which you never have, because you just panic-built a bunker to defend your base.

In the real world, getting enough steel to build a bridge is easy enough - I imagine the lead time to be a couple months. Actually finding a team able to plan and construct one is another matter.

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