131 points

Quick way of finding out if your date has any STIs.

permalink
report
reply
34 points

And/or is a rapist

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

Are sex offenders forbidden from donating in the US?

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

No idea, but they’re certainly more likely to take advantage of someone who’s blackout drunk

permalink
report
parent
reply
33 points

Or is gay

permalink
report
parent
reply
24 points
*

Gay people can donate blood now! (In the US, at least) :D

Also @photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

Would probably find that out before you decide on a date

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

Or paid for sex

permalink
report
parent
reply
-3 points

… Where do you live that rape DNA has been sequenced any time in the most recent 10 years or so? That’s so much raping that could be hand before you get from donating blood.

Don’t be a fuckface just because you rape. Try to cancel it out by donating blood, we use rapist blood just as well as we use a frat bros.

permalink
report
parent
reply
14 points

Not really how this works. Tests take time and they don’t test immediately, also they do pool tests, so multiple samples are mixed and tested. So even if they’d find something they couldn’t tell you right there, and then again even if they could they would tell you it would be handled so that nobody else could notice.

permalink
report
parent
reply
47 points

At least last time I donated blood in my country (Canada), you could discretely indicate “do not use” by applying a different sticker to the bag. This was done in case someone got peer pressured into donating but didn’t want to reveal something private that would have disqualified them otherwise.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

Roughly the same here in Germany

permalink
report
parent
reply
10 points

Yes but they also test the blood and will call you if they have reason to believe you are positive.

permalink
report
parent
reply
10 points

We (India) don’t have that, mainly because blood bags don’t grow on trees, but there’s a question about sleeping eight hours the previous night that always seemed irrelevant. Now that I think about it, it might have been added for this purpose.

permalink
report
parent
reply
52 points

…getting black out is cute?

permalink
report
reply
4 points

A girl’s gotta have fun

permalink
report
parent
reply
44 points
*

I mean… dunno about you, but I look my best with that sweet patina of sweat glistening on my forehead, a drop of drool meandering towards my chin, and a hot load in my drawers.

I may not remember some nights, but I rest easy knowing that I’m a damn fine lookin drunk. Too much booze also makes me smell amazing.

Oh, and I’m a great drunk cook too. You can absolutely trust me with that knife.

permalink
report
parent
reply
13 points

Is that how you got the nickname Half-Pinky-Shit-Pants-Low-Blood-Drunk-Ass-Sally? I always wondered what the subtle inside joke was

permalink
report
parent
reply
16 points

Nah, I got that nickname from my preacher one Sunday after church.

permalink
report
parent
reply
10 points

God yeah lemme hold her hair while she yaks up dinner

permalink
report
parent
reply
42 points

Getting black out together

permalink
report
parent
reply
17 points

Some of my fondest memories and best bonding experiences are from getting horrendously drunk with somebody. I’m not sure if it’s safe for dating because you need to trust the other person to be a decent human being while drunk, but most people are.

If it’s just the two of you, or you and strangers you’ll never meet again, you’ll end up with a better bond from this shared experience, because neither person comes off worse than the other if you’re both black out.

Also of course it’s not a cute idea? The post is clearly humourous.

permalink
report
parent
reply
33 points

I actually did this in my early 20s. Girlfriend at the time got super drunk super fast so I had to stay sober to drive us home.

permalink
report
reply
17 points

You’re not supposed to get drunk at the donations facility.

permalink
report
parent
reply
10 points

If I want to mix vodka into the orange juice afterwards that’s my business.

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

They didn’t have a sign posted, so I figured I was safe.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

Driving to a party, smdh

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

Yeah, this was before Uber existed and the town I lived in at the time had very sketchy and unreliable taxis, non-existent public transit.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

Oh. I guess not much else to do in that case.

permalink
report
parent
reply
13 points

This is how Uni kids get drunk on $4 in 1995.

permalink
report
reply
8 points

It’s how we did it for $10 in 2012 as well

permalink
report
parent
reply
11 points

This is how we do it for $40 in 2024

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points
*

But yet an eighth of weed now is still somehow the price of an eighth of weed then.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

I was in a fraternity (Lambda Chi) and we would donate plasma for kegs. Worked well.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

I get drunk on $5 now

99’s are a beautiful thing

permalink
report
parent
reply
21 points

Staring in the face of late-stage capitalism, the human race tries to find a glimmer of optimism. Can’t afford a real date, find it too hard to connect while sober.

permalink
report
reply

Memes

!memes@lemmy.ml

Create post

Rules:

  1. Be civil and nice.
  2. Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.

Community stats

  • 11K

    Monthly active users

  • 13K

    Posts

  • 288K

    Comments