Not gonna lie, this was a tasty onion.
At press time, sources reported Cohen had reluctantly agreed to hire someone to threaten his own family in order to ensure his cooperation.
The Onion is just on fire lately. They’re figuring out how to do satire again in the worst timeline.
The Onion is just on fire lately. They’re figuring out how to do satire again in the worst timeline.
It’s actually because The Onion was sold to Jeff Lawson (founder of Twilio) at the end of April. He appointed Ben Collins, formerly a senior reporter at NBC News covering “disinformation, extremism and the internet” as the CEO. Here’s what he had to say:
“My friends and I now own and run The Onion. I’ll be the CEO. We’re keeping the entire staff, bringing back The Onion News Network, and shar[ing] the wealth with staff. Basically, we’re going to let them do whatever they want. Get excited.”
How bad is it that I was absolutely going to believe this until I saw the source.
At press time, sources reported Cohen had reluctantly agreed to hire someone to threaten his own family in order to ensure his cooperation.
It says a lot about the state of things that my first reaction was a complete lack of surprise.
