I guess this could just as easily be posted in an anti-work community

151 points

is now asking all employees within 50 miles of a company office to go in at least two days a week on a hybrid schedule.

I briefly worked for a company that took this approach. The oversight they made was they had 2 offices (different teams in each), but as long as you lived within 50 miles of one of the offices, you had to come in.

Even if your team was exclusively in office 1, and you lived outside the radius of office 1 BUT were in the radius of office 2…you had to come in to office 2…and teleconference with your team in office 1 🤦

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75 points

I’d just move further away lol

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5 points

see that little shack about 40 miles away, out town road 37, past the old faded barn and the tree that looks like homer simpson?..

no. the other barn. the one on the edge of that huge dairy farm.

yea. that’s the one. well, that shack is outhouse at your new office. the office itself is the smaller shack behind it.

wifi? sure! at the adjacent on-site outdoor gym, there’s an old exercise bike hooked up to a generator to power it.

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1 point

Or I could move 100 miles to a city? Not living in the middle of nowhere lol

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16 points

most have contingencies that if you are in the 50, then move out of the 50, that’s on you. You still gotta come in.

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8 points

Even stupider!

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12 points
*

You mean my incredibly easy-to-predict life hack was countered before i could even try? I’m shocked… shocked I tell you.

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1 point
Deleted by creator
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64 points

Stay where you are and work for a different company. Problem solved.

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42 points

I know a lawyer in the Boston suburbs who went full WFH during the pandemic. He loved his job but was upset when his boss pushed for him to come back to the office. Boss said he lived too close to the office in Boston to justify it.

Lawyer moved to Vermont with his girlfriend and still works fully remote for the same law office.

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22 points

Wow that’s next level dumb. My job did something similar. Someone whose team was based out of Texas yet they still made the 2 people from MI go to the MI office. And on separate days “so someone was always available”

Then the same company closed 75% of their massive building and said the hybrid employees have to share cubes with other people. I’m so glad HR made me permanent remote.

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9 points

Was it 50 miles in a straight line or 50 on your odometer?

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10 points

50 mile radius of the office address.

So if your home was 40 miles away but your commute was 55 miles…you still had to go 🙄

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18 points

50 miles during a commute is way too far. My employer has pushed for people whose commute would be 1 hour maximum during rush hour to try to come into an office once a week. Where I live it can take an hour to go 10-15 miles during rush hour…

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15 points

There’s a guy at my company that lives in Sacramento, and commutes twice a week to go in the office in mountain view. That’s a 4 hour commute with no traffic.

His entire team is in the San diego office. There’s literally zero point, but I guess his manager isn’t willing or capable of fighting for an exception to the hybrid mandate.

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7 points

A friend of mine works for amazon (well, worked). He was fully remote. He moved from seattle to chicago.

Then they told everyone to go back to the office, lol.

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8 points

This happened to me although I don’t work for Amazon.

I have great fun telling them I don’t even live on the same continent anymore. Somehow they thought it was my fault, despite the fact that they said that it was fully remote.

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62 points

I’d love to understand the logic and benefit of come two days a week. But the real reason, not the bullshit they say

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75 points

They’ve invested a lot of money in office real estate and hate that it’s going to waste.

Also, CEOs tend to be extroverts who want to be around people. They’re also sociopaths who think everyone is like them (or they don’t care what others think).

Combine the two and you get this.

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28 points

Also no one actually knows how long tasks take.

If you work from home and only work for 4 hours, lots of managers do not know how to tell if that work you did took 8 hours or 4. In the office they have plausible deniability that they saw you there doing something.

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10 points

They’ve invested a lot of money in office real estate and hate that it’s going to waste.

But see this makes no sense. The money invested is gone (or contractually tied up). Using it won’t make it a good investment.

It’s like if you bought a car and then moved somewhere where you’re like 1 minute walking from work, the grocery store, the hair salon,.and the best restaurants, and you never travel otherwise. The money spent on the car is objectively wasted. Using your car unnecessarily to drive places you (a) wouldn’t normally go to or (b) don’t need a car to get to is not only pointless, but actually costs MORE MONEY because of gas and maintenance (or for a building, energy and cleaning).

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6 points

There’s more to it. Companies are getting tax breaks and tax exemptions to bring in people to the office to “stimulate” the ecconony.

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18 points

No idea whether it’s their reason, but anecdotally I’ve found it has a few benefits. If coordinated properly it’s significantly easier to train new(er) staff, it improves cross-organisational understanding to overhear other departments’ conversations either at desks or in break rooms, and it stops people becoming isolated pockets of knowledge and culture because they only ever see or interact with the same one or two people.

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13 points

Because the people creating these mandates don’t have to suffer them. They come and go as they please, and they don’t work in the pit open office space. They have real offices with furniture, walls, and doors that shut.

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2 points

I can help you. The benefit is strictly for the maintenance of th bullshit status quo and the logic is, once you’re already coming in two days a week, it’ll be an easier fight to ask for a third. Then a fourth. And so on.

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299 points
*

I can’t think of a worse marketing strategy for a company that relies on remote work to remain relevant. This would be like if General Motors forced every employee within 50 miles of an assembly plant to ride a bike to work.

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37 points

That is hilarious

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105 points

We make remote work viable.

NOT FOR US THO LMAO

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17 points
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3 points

I don’t think that Zoom specifically advocates for companies to end work in the office.

Like, say you work for Coca-Cola. Their company health plan probably does not encourage people to drink nothing but Coca-Cola, even if they do make it available in the office.

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70 points

These are fun. For any other CEOs reading along, here’s your new policy/advertisement:

  • Furniture Row could convert every employee workstation to standing only.
  • Starbucks could require every staff member to go caffeine free.
  • Underarmor could set a black tie dress code for all employees.
  • Master lock could shut down their staff gym citing uncontrolled theft from lockers.
  • Grayhound could ban employees from traveling together to events.
  • General Mills could establish a rewards program for employees who participate in a daily morning fast until lunchtime.
  • Atlassian and Salseforce could shift their internal help desks to in-person only with 100% paper records.
  • Peterbilt could start an incentive program that reimburses staff for buying local.
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2 points

I like the way you think.

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4 points

That Master Lock one seems entirely plausible.

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8 points

Starbucks bans coffee in its offices, cites study saying its bad for your health. Stocks herbal tea instead.

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5 points

Atlassian and Salseforce could shift their internal help desks to in-person only with 100% paper records.

That would probably be an improvement for Salesforce. I truly hate their software. It’s god awful.

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8 points

IKEA now only buy from furniture row.

Boeing ban employees from taking aircraft, citing safety concerns with their aircraft.

USPS require all packages be delivered by courier - I can actually see that one happening

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15 points
*
  • Microsoft could require Macs for all employees.

  • Xfinity could only offer dialup at their offices.

  • Dairy Queen could only hire diabetics.

  • The cafeteria at Purdue Farms headquarters could be all-vegan.

  • Barnes and Noble staff must have a library card and check out books regularly.

  • Amazon delivery drivers must have their license suspended.

  • Bed, Bath and Beyond could require their floor staff to only come in if they haven’t showered.

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3 points

Didn’t BBB go under, close all their stores, and sell their name to overstock.com?

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32 points

Seems like a way of culling staff without having to pay severance… make it so shit that people leave, but make allowances for the key people you need

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9 points

That (along with feeding managers’ need to micromanage) is the largest reason so many corporations are forcing a return to office

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50 points

“Oscar Meyer tells employees to eat less meat”

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29 points

“Pfizer tells employees to use homeopathic remedies.”

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35 points

“Microsoft tells employees to use Linux.”

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2 points

Microsoft is a major contributor to the Linux kernel for decades now. They even were in the top 5 for a while. So yeah, plenty of MS employees use Linux exclusively.

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