I (20M) was never really a social person and spendy my middle school alone but I was able to make some friends in high school
However, ever since I started my Bachelors I’ve struggled to make friends.
I’ve tried joining clubs or participating in events but even when I do manage to have successful conversations I can’t manage to turn that into a friendship. Considering how the year just ended I’m not going to have a chance
I never minded being alone when I was younger but my loneliness is really starting to really affect me.
I’ve lost any internet in watching tv shows or movies or playing any games, I can’t find the motivation to study and always feel tired.
I’ve also started to constantly fantasize about being in a romantic relationship and worry about if I’ll be alone for the rest of my life despite the fact that I’ve never had any interests in relationships or even an IRL crush.
I also have a porn addiction that’s growing worse and I’m worried about its long term effects on me.
I’ve also never had any online friends before which means I don’t know where to start.
I really need help.
people here are suggesting to leave the internet which I mostly agree to however sometimes you feel more comfortable talking with people through internet than talking IRL. I also can’t build any meaningful relationship in college maybe my expectation is too high I don’t know but I certainly feel good here than IRL.
Constant fantasising and porn addiction are signs of maladaptive coping mechanisms.
Therapists will help you work on the source of emotional discomfort and help you process those emotions and should also teach you better coping mechanisms.
If you struggle with loneliness try choosing to be in solitude for a short period of time.
Two years ago “healthy gamer gg” community and Dr K.'s lectures really helped me start moving forward with my emotional wellbeing.
First thing to remember is that you are not alone. We all have these feelings and anxieties. You do not have to face this alone. Find someone to talk to, it will help.
Man, you sre on Lemmy at 20. Think about that.
But as you are still in Uni, you can ask other people to discuss homework, complete it together, eat out in some food chain or a cafeteria when you have a break. You don’t turn 100% of these into friendships, a small percentage of these come to fruition, but even small connections make you not alone. You can also start gym and ask assistance there - guys like to coach others. But the same approach can be extrapolated to other places too - if you act dumb at one of the clubs you mention, some people are naturally kin to help you out, and in thid process you can talk to them.
first and foremost, life is long and you have time. second, you most certainly are not alone as there are many, many peeps feeling exactly as you are. technology has an isolating effect in terms of irl relationships. the porn addiction is a symptom of this and when it all just becomes meat, it makes it harder to have actual physical intimacy with another human being. third, as others have said, you are suffering from depression and then nothing feels good, that’s what is known as anhedonia.
admitting something is wrong is an important first step. talking to someone and seeking treatment would be helpful if you are finding it hard to figure out on your own. the last two cents i have is slow your roll, your being and breathe. don’t dismiss the little things, the small rituals and def get outside.
