96 points
*

“Asked about the overturning of Roe v. Wade, they explained that men cannot get abortions, so it’s only fair that women shouldn’t be able to either, and therefore the court is the epitome of equality”

Choked on my drink

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55 points

A fine take on this classic:

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal their bread.

Anatole France

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22 points

During the gay marriage debate in Canada people were actually arguing that marriage equality already exists, since everyone gay or straight cannot marry people of the same sex, and therefore gay marriage is a special privilege and not equality.

When someone is motivated enough, they can come up with all manner of reasoning in bad faith and not serving justice in any meaningful way, and when they come up with something like this they do nothing but marvel at their own perceived cleverness.

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1 point

But not everyone had the right to marry a woman. Typical male privilege.

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3 points

Oh you were serious. Well fuck.

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45 points

Checks out, since they have to distract from ruling that gratuities aren’t bribes.

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16 points

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Why yes, the curtain is big enough to fit a Winnebago!

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16 points

Be sure to tip your governor!

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4 points

The local Ombudsman is now king of the castle!

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13 points

I was just going to post that, it seems more like the onion:

Supreme Court wipes out anti-corruption law that bars officials from taking gifts for past favors

In ruling for the former mayor, the justices drew a distinction between bribery, which requires proof of an illegal deal, and a gratuity that can be a gift or a reward for a past favor. They said the officials may be charged and prosecuted for bribery, but not for simply taking money for past favors if there was no proof of an illicit deal.

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17 points

Poor Sotomayor.

She’s the single wise, rational, compassionate justice who not only has to consistently voice and explain the correct rulings that her asshole conservative peers avoid an order to consolidate wealth and power, but she also gets so much collateral shit because she’s lumped in with all those assholes.

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8 points

the Greatest Mullahs in the western world!

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3 points

Old Supreme Court pic is old.

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20 points

Canadian satire site is Canadian.

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-4 points

Oh, and the use of an old pic that leaves out one of the justices they quote is a clever part of the satire and not just an oversight. Genius!

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9 points

If that’s what I intended to say I would have. But I didn’t. I was simply mocking the utter inanity of your comment. We’re done here.

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2 points

To be fair they’re only one justice off. Jackson hasn’t been on the bench for too long. It’s not like they’ve got Scalia up there.

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