Jokes on you, they don’t read the bible
“Why is Jesus always preaching liberal talking points!? And those prophets in the old testament are getting all pissed about people not taking care of the poor. That sounds like SoCiAlIsM!”
You joke, but this is literally happening.
They only read song of psalms and revelations, the “exciting” parts
(edit): correction, book I meant to mention is Song of Solomon
Psalms is arguably the least exciting book in the Bible. It’s like reading through a hymnal. Well, it’s not like that, it is that because it’s literally a book of songs.
Chronicles, either one. The only verse that peaks anyone’s interest is 1 Chron 11:4, because it mentions Jebus
Chronicles is mostly someone explaining family trees to you, here’s the first 30ish verses:
Adam, Sheth, Enosh, Kenan, Mahalaleel, Jered, Henoch, Methuselah, Lamech, Noah, Shem, Ham, and Japheth.
The sons of Japheth; Gomer, and Magog, and Madai, and Javan, and Tubal, and Meshech, and Tiras.
And the sons of Gomer; Ashchenaz, and Riphath, and Togarmah. And the sons of Javan; Elishah, and Tarshish, Kittim, and Dodanim.
The sons of Ham; Cush, and Mizraim, Put, and Canaan.
And the sons of Cush; Seba, and Havilah, and Sabta, and Raamah, and Sabtecha. And the sons of Raamah; Sheba, and Dedan. And Cush begat Nimrod: he began to be mighty upon the earth.
And Mizraim begat Ludim, and Anamim, and Lehabim, and Naphtuhim, and Pathrusim, and Casluhim, (of whom came the Philistines,) and Caphtorim.
And Canaan begat Zidon his firstborn, and Heth, the Jebusite also, and the Amorite, and the Girgashite, and the Hivite, and the Arkite, and the Sinite, and the Arvadite, and the Zemarite, and the Hamathite.
The sons of Shem; Elam, and Asshur, and Arphaxad, and Lud, and Aram, and Uz, and Hul, and Gether, and Meshech. And Arphaxad begat Shelah, and Shelah begat Eber. And unto Eber were born two sons: the name of the one was Peleg; because in his days the earth was divided: and his brother’s name was Joktan. And Joktan begat Almodad, and Sheleph, and Hazarmaveth, and Jerah, Hadoram also, and Uzal, and Diklah, and Ebal, and Abimael, and Sheba, and Ophir, and Havilah, and Jobab. All these were the sons of Joktan. Shem, Arphaxad, Shelah, Eber, Peleg, Reu, Serug, Nahor, Terah, Abram; the same is Abraham.
The sons of Abraham; Isaac, and Ishmael. These are their generations: the firstborn of Ishmael, Nebaioth; then Kedar, and Adbeel, and Mibsam, Mishma, and Dumah, Massa, Hadad, and Tema, Jetur, Naphish, and Kedemah. These are the sons of Ishmael.
Now the sons of Keturah, Abraham’s concubine: she bare Zimran, and Jokshan, and Medan, and Midian, and Ishbak, and Shuah. And the sons of Jokshan; Sheba, and Dedan. And the sons of Midian; Ephah, and Epher, and Henoch, and Abida, and Eldaah. All these are the sons of Keturah.
And Abraham begat Isaac. The sons of Isaac; Esau and Israel.
SUDDENLY THE BIBLE REQUIRES TRANSLATION INTO TODAY’S CONTEXT AND TERMS HUH
These fuckers will scream the bible can’t be wrong when it comes to judging others but the moment they realize Jesus asked them to do something for other people and not just scream at people who look different, now all of a suddenly, we need to define what the term “riches” mean and we have to take into account it’s a 4000 year old work, etc. etc.
This doesn’t even touch the part shortly after this verse about a couple that lied about giving everything to the church and god opened up the earth to swallow them for bucking the socialist system.
They love to cite the parts of Leviticus that condemn homosexual behavior, but suddenly when Leviticus starts telling you where to get your slaves and how cruel you should be, it’s “but that’s the Old Testament!! 🤓☝️”
My favorite story from the bible is when Jesus storms into a temple and starts whipping the living shit out of everyone as they were counting gold and their riches. Jesus was a god damn socialist hero.
My favourite is 2 kings chapter 2 verse 22-25
From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeeredb at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the named of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.
God really hates children.
From what I’ve read, which admittedly isn’t much, he seems to hold entire families to account for the actions of their worst members.
Often that means killing/maiming/punishing children of jerks and profiteering gluttons.
For sure and not just families. I’m sure nearly every English speaker has heard the story of Egypt and the 10 plagues.
We have to remember, its a choice they made. I mean, they’re god. They can do anything right? God could’ve just teleported the Israelites away. He could’ve just made the Egyptians temporarily blind or fall asleep for a few months, keeping them alive while doing so. He could’ve given all the Israelites individual flaming chariots. He could’ve made flaming rail infrastructure and run a flaming railway service for the Israelites to leave on.
“No, I told you already. Its child murder or nothing, Moses.”
The bible is a woke rag!!!
“Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming on you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. Look! The wages you failed to pay the workers who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. You have condemned and murdered the innocent one, who was not opposing you.”
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James 5%3A1-6&version=NIV