Only way is to run to Lichess
I know the Lemmy answer: capitalism.
reclass into Wyvern Knight
...
also this is a repost
Easy. Redirect the mob towards the Black king with an impassioned speech.
“Vimes had never got on with any game much more complex than darts. Chess in particular had always annoyed him. It was the dumb way the pawns went off and slaughtered their fellow pawns while the kings lounged about doing nothing that always got to him; if only the pawns united, maybe talked the rooks round, the whole board could’ve been a republic in a dozen moves.”
Terry Pratchett, Thud!