Mirror Universe Vermin Supreme
Supreme vs. Ratman. Jekyll vs. Hyde. Professor X vs. Magnito. Mario vs. Wario. Connor vs. McGregor. Scott Pilgrim vs. The world. Morse vs Frederick. The city of New York vs. Homer Simpson.
A tale as old as time.
After a good career of actually being funny, Jack Black got into gaming, then Vaush, then started doing campaign speeches for Biden.
“So I had a meeting with an important man the other day. Do you want to hear about? Of course you want to.” Stage right - the man in question grimaces. Biden entirely forgot that at the end of each sentence there should have been a pregnant pause to build up the joke. So like a driver panicked in a skid - Biden massively overcorrects. “That man’s name was… No… I mean - gosh darn it… I said hello Jack, jack, jack, jack, jack. Hello—”
Jack Black bounds on stage to save the president “Hellllllllllllllllllllllllo, Mr. President!” The President is frozen and staring blankly. Black tries to save him by hamming things up even more. “Helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllloooo, Mr. President!” He’s doing the best job he can of making it look scripted. Considering how awful things clearly are - he’s doing an excellent job but the President is still frozen and his facial expressions are getting scary.
Black soldiers on “Helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo, Mr. President!” The president moves side to side a little but now his face looks like a death mask. Black has a shot of inspiration “Gooooooood Morrrrrrrrrrrrrning Vietnam!” And the president comes out of his standing coma. “I like that movie. With Mork.” Black’s smile is unwavering. “Of course, of course - Mr. President.”
“And then he said, if you don’t vote for me, you ain’t Jack Black!”
The runner-up in the Alternate Universe Cushbomb Cosplay Competition.
