-4 points

Its funny, because America is dead inside :-D !

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3 points

Can you blame 'em?

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-22 points

Ohh, her husband likes buttstuff, but she doesn’t.

As long as it works for them, it’s fine.

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28 points

Believe it or not, that’s a frisking.

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59 points

You shake the ball, it responds ‘ask again later’…

… except there is also now a blinking red led, which is blinking more and more rapidly.

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22 points

Sounds like a great writing prompt.

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3 points

Sounds like a thermal detonator……

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19 points

Jimmy swore up and down that he didn’t know that the magic 8 ball could do that. Unfortunately for him, the TSA agents were unable to hear him over the increasingly louder and more rapid beeping sounds made by said magic 8 ball. Within moments, Jimmy was on the ground with the weight of a TSA agent on his back and the cool steel of a handgun pressed to his neck.

“Don’t fucking move,” ordered a TSA agent. Another agent immediately followed up with, “I’ll blow your head off if you try anything.” As the magic 8 ball liked to say to him sometimes, for Jimmy, his outlook was not so good.

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38 points

Plot twist: the liquid inside the ball is nitroglycerin.

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15 points

Plot plot twist: is plain water for the kid to drink.

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