117 points

You don’t go to work for the TSA because you got a 1600 on your SAT.

permalink
report
reply
64 points

Or a sense of humor.

permalink
report
parent
reply
33 points

I’m convinced that having a sense of humor is a disqualification to be a TSA agent lol

Ah shit, I said lol now I’m on the disqualified list :(

permalink
report
parent
reply
12 points

I wonder how many people think they are “hilarious” when talking with TSA.

permalink
report
parent
reply
37 points

You can’t trust the 8-ball in this situation, it’s biased.

permalink
report
reply
10 points
*

Indeed. It’s a 2:1 ratio of affirmative to negative responses.

permalink
report
parent
reply
38 points

Plot twist: the liquid inside the ball is nitroglycerin.

permalink
report
reply
15 points

Plot plot twist: is plain water for the kid to drink.

permalink
report
parent
reply
59 points

You shake the ball, it responds ‘ask again later’…

… except there is also now a blinking red led, which is blinking more and more rapidly.

permalink
report
reply
22 points

Sounds like a great writing prompt.

permalink
report
parent
reply
19 points

Jimmy swore up and down that he didn’t know that the magic 8 ball could do that. Unfortunately for him, the TSA agents were unable to hear him over the increasingly louder and more rapid beeping sounds made by said magic 8 ball. Within moments, Jimmy was on the ground with the weight of a TSA agent on his back and the cool steel of a handgun pressed to his neck.

“Don’t fucking move,” ordered a TSA agent. Another agent immediately followed up with, “I’ll blow your head off if you try anything.” As the magic 8 ball liked to say to him sometimes, for Jimmy, his outlook was not so good.

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

Sounds like a thermal detonator……

permalink
report
parent
reply
28 points

Believe it or not, that’s a frisking.

permalink
report
reply

People Twitter

!whitepeopletwitter@sh.itjust.works

Create post

People tweeting stuff. We allow tweets from anyone.

RULES:

  1. Mark NSFW content.
  2. No doxxing people.
  3. Must be a tweet or similar
  4. No bullying.
  5. Be excellent to each other.

Community stats

  • 9.2K

    Monthly active users

  • 825

    Posts

  • 39K

    Comments