So when I worked in last 2 roles, I’d joke around and have a laugh with colleagues, the workplace culture of those places I guess was more relaxed, but I got that sense of lack of camaderie or fellowmanship from others too during my time working.
Sorry to be naive, but is it because some people look out for themselves and it’s kind of “Yeah you’re a funny guy but uh… when shit hits the fan I ain’t there with you” kind of shtick.
Not saying these guys are assholes or anything, but I just think with the current world in any work industry it seems to be tricky to make real friendships inside and outside of work.
I don’t know if this just me but I notice that big distinction of the joking around and sharing the same invested topics (I.e. video games) but no more than that
TLDR - Confused if people are being genuine, but they don’t really “care” in a sense?
Please let me know if I’m spouting gobbledygook, thank you.
What you’re saying is a bit gobbledygook. I don’t want to make friends at work. I want to do my job and then clock out when finished.
Yeah but not all people need or want that. I agree with op. Camaraderie makes the job easier.
Isn’t that the whole point of hiring people that fit the company culture? I’ve worked at both types of places in different stages of my life. Both can feel good or bad depending on where you’re at. Don’t try to change the job to fit your needs. Find a different one.
I feel like that’s a different thing. “We’re a family” is a forced perversion of actual meaningful relationships with co-workers.
But they say they are chatting about video games and joking around, what more do you want?
It’s work tho, so it stays there. You have to get on with someone really well to want to see them all day at work and then after as well.
True. Me and a friend of mine used to work together and live together. Then we’d go home after work, get drunk and play video games just to wake up and do it all over. Granted thar was years ago.
I did work with my now wife at one point. But we never actually hung out too much when we were working together because we were management and she would always go hang out with staff which I wouldn’t do
I totally agree with you that I don’t need to make friends at work. I 100% clock out at the end of the day and make a hard cutoff between personal and work life. I can even work with people I personally dislike just fine, as long as they’re not making things harder for others.
But OP was talking about camaraderie, which is mostly just about being generally pleasant to be around - as Merriam-Webster defines it, “a spirit of friendly good-fellowship”. Nobody likes to deal with the moody guy who doesn’t want to talk to anyone either, including the other moody guys. There’s definitely a minimum level of camaraderie required not to make things harder for everyone involved. You don’t have to lean into the “we’re a family” BS not to be unpleasant.
Different companies have different broad cultures, and different subcultures within teams. Some companies just don’t have a sense of camaraderie built into their broad culture.
One thing that people don’t always understand, and I always point this out to people I work with, is that your professional relationships are much more important than the company itself. Everybody is going to move on from their current job some day. When that day comes, they will benefit from having strong relationships with past team mates, either by knowing folks who can help them get new work, or by knowing folks who they can bring in to tackle projects at the new job.
Your professional network is one of your most valuable assets in your career. The people you work with are real people, with real families. Relationships with great team mates are more important than the company you both work at now, and will outlast your time at that company. Camaraderie is key to that whole scenario. Make sure you reach out to people you respect and enjoy working with and tell them how much you value that professional relationship. You will both be better off for it.
I always say: if I’m ever in a situation where I need a job and can only get one with a former employer - do I want them to say “hell yeah” or “hell no”?
I’ve worked with people who, if they had to ask me for a reference, I would decline to give one. By the same token, I would reject their application for a job in my company or team. And I have worked with the opposite - people who will always under any circumstances get help from me if they’re looking for a job. All the competence in the world doesn’t help if someone is miserable to be around.
Having contacts, people who are willing to give references and similar always helps. Sure, you can do job hunting hard mode, but why make things unnecessarily difficult?
After a few decades of working my default is to avoid making close connections with coworkers outside of work because of the trouble it can cause at work. I don’t want to be at work in the first place, why make more trouble when I can instead just be professional and get along with everyone in the context of the work itself?
For me, I just don’t have any interest in making friends at work. If we happen to get along, then great! Gimme your number and I’ll text you memes about this week’s House of the Dragon after work. Daemon needs to get the hell outta Luigi’s Mansion, am I right hahaha
But outside of those one-off friendships, I just don’t have the emotional energy anymore to maintain any meaningful connections with somebody just because we happened to apply to the same LinkedIn listing. Life is too stressful to be thinking about even more people and their problems.
Maybe it’s just because of my line of work, but nobody does this job because we want to, we do it because we’re competent at it. We’re not here because of some shared vision or dream, but because the hiring manager accepted “some college” on the applications. We’re only sharing this space as a matter of consequence, not intention. That’s not enough for me to form a bond on in a lot of cases.
Maybe if I worked in a field that I was passionate about, things might be different and I might be more open to connecting with people. But otherwise I’m just here to do what I need to pay my bills, and that’s it.
And yeah, it can be lonely. That part can suck.
Word of advice–be a good person to your colleagues, and let friendship possibly develop after one of you leaves. I’ve made many friends throughout the years once we each know there is no pressure to be friends. I’ve had many job leads throughout the years because people I previously worked with thought I was a great colleague.
