So when I worked in last 2 roles, I’d joke around and have a laugh with colleagues, the workplace culture of those places I guess was more relaxed, but I got that sense of lack of camaderie or fellowmanship from others too during my time working.

Sorry to be naive, but is it because some people look out for themselves and it’s kind of “Yeah you’re a funny guy but uh… when shit hits the fan I ain’t there with you” kind of shtick.

Not saying these guys are assholes or anything, but I just think with the current world in any work industry it seems to be tricky to make real friendships inside and outside of work.

I don’t know if this just me but I notice that big distinction of the joking around and sharing the same invested topics (I.e. video games) but no more than that

TLDR - Confused if people are being genuine, but they don’t really “care” in a sense?

Please let me know if I’m spouting gobbledygook, thank you.

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82 points

What you’re saying is a bit gobbledygook. I don’t want to make friends at work. I want to do my job and then clock out when finished.

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45 points
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Yeah but not all people need or want that. I agree with op. Camaraderie makes the job easier.

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43 points

But you can’t expect it from others who don’t have the same needs.

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1 point

Isn’t that the whole point of hiring people that fit the company culture? I’ve worked at both types of places in different stages of my life. Both can feel good or bad depending on where you’re at. Don’t try to change the job to fit your needs. Find a different one.

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28 points

Not all people want to fake the “office family” dynamic.

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14 points

I feel like that’s a different thing. “We’re a family” is a forced perversion of actual meaningful relationships with co-workers.

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4 points

You’re missing the point. For some people, it’s not faking it

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20 points

But they say they are chatting about video games and joking around, what more do you want?

It’s work tho, so it stays there. You have to get on with someone really well to want to see them all day at work and then after as well.

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4 points

True. Me and a friend of mine used to work together and live together. Then we’d go home after work, get drunk and play video games just to wake up and do it all over. Granted thar was years ago.

I did work with my now wife at one point. But we never actually hung out too much when we were working together because we were management and she would always go hang out with staff which I wouldn’t do

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3 points

Its a cultural thing that definitely exists where I live

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2 points

Not only that but it makes it easier to care about one another, which gives a greater incentive to unionize.

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17 points
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I totally agree with you that I don’t need to make friends at work. I 100% clock out at the end of the day and make a hard cutoff between personal and work life. I can even work with people I personally dislike just fine, as long as they’re not making things harder for others.

But OP was talking about camaraderie, which is mostly just about being generally pleasant to be around - as Merriam-Webster defines it, “a spirit of friendly good-fellowship”. Nobody likes to deal with the moody guy who doesn’t want to talk to anyone either, including the other moody guys. There’s definitely a minimum level of camaraderie required not to make things harder for everyone involved. You don’t have to lean into the “we’re a family” BS not to be unpleasant.

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