13 points

Don’t pass out near the mallard.

They might think you are dead, they like to rape dead things.

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24 points

Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in?

The duck, that is.

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69 points

Can’t help but think that “me drinking all the beer in my fridge as fast as possible” plays some major part in all of this… 🤨

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22 points

Guy I know quit his job at my company and took a much cushier part time job closer to home, and built a keg in to a fridge.

He has gained 60 pounds or so in the last year.

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13 points

Someone should’ve told him they actually just sell kegerators at Home Depot. He could have ordered one online.

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7 points

He lives out in the boonies, doubt he’s ever been inside a home Depot. He definitely doesnt order stuff online that often. Though I’m sure the guy he buys all his home improvement stuff is doing exactly that and charging him a premium.

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9 points

Be careful there, my dude! Does your neighbour frequently visit the park from where you got the duck? When was the last time you saw him there? Maybe you should observe how the duck is behaving when it thinks that you’re not around.

Just saying…

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6 points

I noticed that your neighbor’s wifi appears to have COVID-19 and it should probably get itself checked out

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