I’ll have the burger whose contents are stacked too high to eat comfortably and spill out when you try to bite it, please
Burgers need to be wider, not taller.
When I’m the King I will mandate this.
Craziest Burger and shakes I’ve ever had were in Boston.
Adding Portland to my list now.
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Half the staff are wearing wool beanies in dead ass middle of summer
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Sides are a la carte, fries come in a metal cup with newspaper-style wax/parchment paper
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The bottom bun is falls-apart-soggy by halfway through
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Claims to have a huge selection of craft beers…all IPAs, a stout, a sour, and PBR
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Burgers are served on a scaffold board/shovel/roof tile
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Coleslaw is always referred to as house 'slaw.
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Menu prices omit the $ sign/£ sign.
Eg. Triple cooked fries 4
run by four interchangeable lumbersexual white guys in their mid 20s who are having the time of their lives and one white chick in her late 20s who is just so over it.
There’s a bar here with that aesthetic. They do serve ok burgers at slightly reasonable prices, but the secret is to become friends with the cooks. Then tell them that you don’t care what the upcharge is, but you want them to make you the burger they’d want and to have fun with it.
Now I can go in and say “Tell them TexasDrunk wants whatever burger they want to send out” and 9 out of 10 times I get a burger that’s delicious (and sometimes insane). Usually they just charge me the regular burger price.
I don’t do it often, but I got good friends and good burgers out of it.
Hell yeah! When I worked as a server, I would ask the cooks to make me a burger of the day for my lunch break. There was no “burger of the day” they just went wild and often times they required multiple “load bearing straws”.
People who go into cooking generally enjoy getting to be creative. I love those insane creations that require load bearing anything (although I don’t think I’ve seen straws, usually it’s toothpicks, skewers, or pickle spears).
My absolute favorite wasn’t the tastiest but it was definitely the coolest. The guy made a pretty standard bacon jalapeno burger, added some house made barbecue sauce, cut it into pieces, skewered it, and served it as the garnish for a pitcher of micheladas.
Note: A michelada is kind of what you’d get if a bloody Mary went to Mexico on vacation and added beer and spices.
Kinda sounds like what people do to Caesars around here. Buy a drink basically get a meal on a skewer sticking out of it.
The best burgers are found in places that look like you have to bribe a health official to get a barely passing grade
I went to a place like this once. Had a bison burger (?) and it was avtually fucking delicious. The fries were just “fries” but they weren’t bad in any way. Above average in flavor and consistency.
I’m guessing most places like this are garbage and the one time I went, I got lucky.
It just the generic “burger place“ design. I haven’t seen a burger restaurant that doesn’t look like this.
So it logically follows that all the bad ones will look like it
Yeah the good burger places look mostly like this too. Or they did, and everyone copied it.
A lot of em make good burgers, too. Just not $35 with fries level good
I hate $20 prices for burgers as much as the next warm blooded American but they are usually great. It’s a burger after all. That said it’s all about that bun!
I live in northern VA and all the burger and bbq joints look like this, mostly.
Most of them are mediocre. Most burger places were mediocre, and then the American gastropub trend saw burgers being made nice as opposed to diner food or bar food. They could also charge more money because they were making nicer food.
Eventually a bunch of the mediocre places shifted to try to also be nice, but mostly just increased prices, changed decor, and started using the word aioli more than mayo. Oh, and pretzel buns on burgers that got taller without being bigger and are cumbersome to eat.
In the plus side, if you like a Swiss burger with a garlic aioli, a burger with a fried egg on it, or a burger with 2 pieces of bacon, a spicy BBQ sauce, and fried onion strings and you’re in the mood for some fries with bits of peel on them and a garlic Parmesan butter, then you know exactly what they’re going to put in from of you and exactly what it’ll taste like.
Mediocre. Not bad, but definitely not the best you’ve ever had.
