…continued

Vance doesn’t read books or book summaries, he reads online book discussions to learn what his opinions should be

Keeps a hot pack under his pillow to keep both sides warm

Eats his hotdogs center-out

Audibly vocalizes “mmmmmmm” every time he steps into a school

Prefers his curly fries steamed

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18 points
*

He feeds his fingernail clippings to squirrels

He tips with those fake $100 bill religious tracts

He stands to the left on the peoplemover in the airport

He prefers his socks sweaty and “crunchy”

He begins most conversations with “don’t you know who I am?”

He does that thing when he talks where he gets too close and starts rubbing your shoulder

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7 points

He tips with those fake $100 bill religious tracts

I know most of these are just silly digs for the memes, but I could 100% see prince couchfucker doing this and thinking in his mind that he actually did the server a favor.

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6 points

He uses metal utensils on teflon non-stick pots and pans, then immediately runs them under cold tap water because finds the sizzle soothing

He orders a salad with the dressing on the side and eats everything but the lettuce

He puts quick-dry clothes in the wash on HOT and leaves them in the dryer for an hour on maximum temperature

He waits until it’s his turn to order to start looking at the menu when dining at fast food joints

He showers everywhere, even at home, in a bathing suit because even he thinks it’s totally gay if he sees any male’s genitals…even his own

He goes to a fancy steakhouse, orders a filet mignon well done, and dips it in ketchup packets he brought in his pocket

Whenever he plays Cards Against Humanity, every round he says “I don’t get it”

He never swallows fruit seeds because he will argue to the death that the seeds will grow inside you. Same with chewing gum and takes 5-7 years to digest it

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29 points

I’m amazed by how weird he can be. Even talking about his own family, he makes it weird.

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25 points

He clarified that he does love his wife, despite her not being white.

It’s amazing how he finds ways to create a bigger hole for himself out of softball questions raised by friendly media outlets. Imagine the stuff he would say if he sat for interviews with real journalists trying to press him on the wacko stuff he’s said and his unpopular policy positions as a candidate.

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8 points

His whole thing about his Indian mother-in-law yesterday was weird, too.

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22 points

The Instagram one is literally me tho. Fuck downloading a meta app and the only time I’m on there is if it’s linked in something I’m reading

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14 points

“Incel” is really losing its meaning if you have “married incels”. We probably need a different word for “people who have abhorrent views about women”

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6 points

Traditionalists is the usual term. Paleoconservatives is also a known term.

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6 points

Reactionaries is my preferred term for them.

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2 points

I thought it was “chauvinist”?

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13 points

He’s definitely wearing eyeliner, right?

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8 points

I think some call it “guyliner”.

Since he’s doing it, he knows. It’s probably best to gloss over it. I expect that he wants to tell some “war stories” about wearing eyeliner in the Iraqi desert or something like that.

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