I consistently have this issue where I legit cannot tell if someone is being snarky or mean it just bounces right off. Then i spend ages wondering if a certain phrase was meant to be an underhanded insult or not or what the subtext was supposed to be.
I think so.
I was literally just minutes ago thinking about something a friend said to me back in like 2016 and realizing, “I actually think they were being really racist.” It was a kind of subtle slur. Should’ve defended myself but I didn’t even catch it. Oh well.
I never wonder tho I’m just fully oblivious
On the other end, the few times I’m legit trying to be mean it never seems to work, where people assume I am being mean at random lol
Relatedly I have a hard time with people trying to do a gotcha! to be dismissive. I remember a moment where a lib asked “why don’t you just go live in Russia, then?” For them in their world, that’s like a final judgement - you clearly don’t care about this DEMOKKKRACY so FUCK OFF. It simply didn’t have that connotation for me and I missed the perception check so I was left wanting for discourse going “but Russia is yucky blah blah blah” when the conversation had already ended.
I chalk it up to them being a dweeby weirdo who relies on the luxury of some sort of strength/assumption instead of learning to communicate. Usually life, fate, and time have a way of frustrating them for doing so, therefore I just try to associate with people who value clear communication.
I’m relatively decent at judging intentions for an autist, but it’s very difficult to know whether I will be perceived as mean or not.
I just assume most people hate me. Probably not healthy, but easy to not get burned
