143 points

The second you hit pose #3 you’re getting your guts kicked out of your asshole by the roo’s legs. This guide is absolute rubbish, complete malarkey, total squirrel’s piss.

permalink
report
reply
60 points

If you are lucky he kicks your guts out of your asshole. More likely the roo will probably just rake his legs down your torso and straight up disembowels you from the front while holding you in position. Agree this guide is complete squirrels piss.

permalink
report
parent
reply
18 points

“… so it will tap out very quickly”

I think this guide is just meant for fun

permalink
report
parent
reply
9 points

Crazy it’d be posted in the meme sub

permalink
report
parent
reply
16 points

Instantly started reading this in an Australian accent

permalink
report
parent
reply
12 points

Are you writing this from a hospital bed?

permalink
report
parent
reply
73 points
*

permalink
report
reply
48 points

Yeah look at those tiny arms

permalink
report
parent
reply
10 points

Holy shit… but that’s like the Eddie Hall of kangaroos, right…?

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

You wish. That’s Twiggy.

permalink
report
parent
reply
8 points

Why are they so large

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

Because they’re utilizing vegan gains.

permalink
report
parent
reply
43 points
*

Roo will launch off its back tail in panel 1 and then tear your guts to fucken shreds.

Good luck cunt.

permalink
report
reply
16 points

QI said the tail is loaded with muscle and is strong enough that it actually counts as a limb.

So yeah. You’re fucked.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

Gdamn. Imagine having another leg that can throw your whole body right behind you

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

back tail

Yeah but how do you get around it’s front tail?

permalink
report
parent
reply
34 points

I’m not saying somebody should do this, but if they do they better film it.

permalink
report
reply
32 points
*

Here you go: https://youtu.be/FIRT7lf8byw

Disclaimer: That guy was lucky. Don’t try this.

permalink
report
parent
reply
13 points

That’s a pretty small kangaroo too right? I am not very familiar with kangaroos but I always imagined them to be a bit bigger than that one.

permalink
report
parent
reply
8 points

Yeah that one’s definitely on the smaller side compared to some of the boomers (named after the noise they make) I’ve come across. We get an array of sizes depending on the type of roo. Grey roos like the one in this video tend to be smaller than the red cunts and generally won’t play footy with your thinking meat unless you’re acting cheeky. The red Boomers straight up don’t come to fuck spiders though and you’ll probably find yourself in Parliament (nap time) if you piss about.

permalink
report
parent
reply
9 points

The background behind this is very interesting.

So if you don’t know, Kangaroos are pretty aggressive, but they aren’t total idiots. They will start an encounter by punching or slapping their opponent to size them up. If the strength of the other Roo’s punch is too hard on them, they will rightfully imagine that their kicks will be much more devastating by comparison. In this instance, the Kangaroo with the weaker punch will likely be intimidating into retreating. If neither of them feel that the punches were strong enough, the kicking will commence.

However, Kangaroos are not particularly suited for punching. Sure, they can, but their body shape isn’t ideal for it, hence the massive legs. Humans, however, are very well suited for punching, and if you’re in decent shape, your punch will undoubtedly be stronger than most any Roo you’ll come across.

For this video, that punch made the Kangaroo realize something: “Dear god, if his punch was that strong, what the hell is his kick like?!” In reality, if you kick a Kangaroo, you will be showing your weakness, and the game is up. But the Roos don’t know that. As long as you can play their intimidation game, you should be alright, but don’t push your luck.

It’s a bold move to be sure, but it paid off in this instance.

permalink
report
parent
reply
8 points

Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/FIRT7lf8byw

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I’m open-source, check me out at GitHub.

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

I’ve seen that roo in ever dive bar I’ve ever been to.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point
*

I’d say who was even more lucky is the dog. It looks like the roo actually punched him with his hind legs, while keeping him in a stranglehold. In reality, he shouldn’t have survived this, should he?

permalink
report
parent
reply
-8 points

it’s funny but the vídeo was proven fake :/

permalink
report
parent
reply
9 points

Do you have any credible source for your claim? I would like to point out National Geographic amongst others who thing its genuine: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/man-punches-kangaroo-saves-dog-australia

permalink
report
parent
reply
33 points

I meet kangaroos a lot on daily basis. One of my dogs was obsessed with chasing them (he still loves to but I have more control over him now). A few times he cornered a roo and I had no chance of calling him off or catching him to drag him away. Some of these guys were over 2 metres tall. Roos are cut AF and their claws are as large as carnivore claws. Trust me, you don’t want a roo to touch you. Anyway, a stick to keep them at sufficient distance to be able to retrieve my dog was all I ever needed, but to be safe I started carrying a knife too; roo meat is very tasty.

permalink
report
reply
2 points
*

Memes

!memes@lemmy.ml

Create post

Rules:

  1. Be civil and nice.
  2. Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.

Community stats

  • 12K

    Monthly active users

  • 13K

    Posts

  • 286K

    Comments