I’m not sure I should start this conversation and I’ve been rewriting this a lot lol. But I could use some relating and opinions from fellow internet leftists
Ok so, to keep it really simple: I happened to share a meal with somebody I really liked. I have interacted casually (no flirting) for about a dozen minutes total and we exchanged contact because of shared-interests (not dating)
Now my brain is fried
I’m thinking about her way too much and it gives be bad vibes, she probably has no idea and I can’t imagine the sheer horror of realising that someone is thinking this much about you after so little interaction.
I want to be a well-behaved straight (kinda bi but that’s beyond the point) guy, I’m trying to be an ally to the feminist cause, so, failing this spectacularly at behaving normally in relation to women disgust me. I know I can’t remove the patriarchy from my body but I damn wish I could.
It’s extremely normal, just don’t behave like a creep
This is normal human stuff
Think there’s about a billion songs describing what you’re feeling so i wouldn’t sweat it. If you’re worried about creeping and not talking you should go ahead and talk to her about your mutual shared interests and hang out as friends. She did give you her contact sooo
Nothing creepy about sharing those interests over the phone or doing those things together. If you know now or find through time spent you like her romantically, then just be honest with her about those feelings and be fine with whatever her decision is.
I mean of course that’s easy for me to say… but I’m trying to say strong feelings are normal and nothing to fear. Maybe don’t tell her about your obsessin’ till after you’re married tho
Feels good to read comrade thanks!
You’re right about friendship. I actually feel better around female friends! And I’m actually afraid I’ll ruin a potentially incredible friendship by being irredeemably inlove
And I’m actually afraid I’ll ruin a potentially incredible friendship by being irredeemably inlove
This feeling passes if you allow it to pass, and to see the person as just that, a person, and a friend. I’ve found the more toxic kinds of crushes are the ones where you don’t actually spend time with the person being normal and being friends. Gotta let these things see through the end. Either you stay friends and the crush naturally subsides, or you realize you’re incompatible and kind of fall off, in my experience.
/uj Feelings are feelings, only actions cross the line into inappropriate territory. You had a pleasant interaction and got the warm fuzzies, nothing wrong with that. There is also a chance, can’t really say without additional context that this person wanted to date you. I certainly don’t give my contact deets out to everyone I share a cig with.
/rj how fucking dare you, you must take SSRI to remove all libido or you will go viral as an abuser.
/uj You must be right, I might be overreacting. The subjective experience is very unpleasant but as long as I’m objectively not creeping her I guess it’s alright. Not gonna detail the whole context but evidence suggests that she’s not into me so I’m definitely not making a move. I’ll find a healthy way to cope! (writing a thread on Hexbear is probably one I guess)
/rj I’ll surrender to the Volcel Police to be sent to the maleness termination facility
/rj how fucking dare you, you must take SSRI to remove all libido or you will go viral as an abuser.
Unironically the best bit of me taking SSRIs was the brief period where I lost all my libido. Wouldn’t say it was great if it had continued but it was very novel to be entirely non-horny. Lot of shame and other issues tied to my sexuality so it felt nice to just exist without it for a bit.
You have a simple crush on someone and all you can think about is the feminist cause? We can’t just like people that exist no more?
Literally every person with an attraction to someone is gonna act like this, it’s 100% human and normal and it’s actually depressing that we have to look for validation just for that nowadays. This fucking world sucks ass
It’s genuinely a sign of the ‘feminist cause’ not going far enough, we still think of men feeling genuine romantic infatuation as a sign of weakness. bell hooks was right
I think about feminism when I interact with women and I think it’s pretty basic decency
