I’m not sure I should start this conversation and I’ve been rewriting this a lot lol. But I could use some relating and opinions from fellow internet leftists
Ok so, to keep it really simple: I happened to share a meal with somebody I really liked. I have interacted casually (no flirting) for about a dozen minutes total and we exchanged contact because of shared-interests (not dating)
Now my brain is fried
I’m thinking about her way too much and it gives be bad vibes, she probably has no idea and I can’t imagine the sheer horror of realising that someone is thinking this much about you after so little interaction.
I want to be a well-behaved straight (kinda bi but that’s beyond the point) guy, I’m trying to be an ally to the feminist cause, so, failing this spectacularly at behaving normally in relation to women disgust me. I know I can’t remove the patriarchy from my body but I damn wish I could.
/uj Feelings are feelings, only actions cross the line into inappropriate territory. You had a pleasant interaction and got the warm fuzzies, nothing wrong with that. There is also a chance, can’t really say without additional context that this person wanted to date you. I certainly don’t give my contact deets out to everyone I share a cig with.
/rj how fucking dare you, you must take SSRI to remove all libido or you will go viral as an abuser.
/rj how fucking dare you, you must take SSRI to remove all libido or you will go viral as an abuser.
Unironically the best bit of me taking SSRIs was the brief period where I lost all my libido. Wouldn’t say it was great if it had continued but it was very novel to be entirely non-horny. Lot of shame and other issues tied to my sexuality so it felt nice to just exist without it for a bit.
/uj You must be right, I might be overreacting. The subjective experience is very unpleasant but as long as I’m objectively not creeping her I guess it’s alright. Not gonna detail the whole context but evidence suggests that she’s not into me so I’m definitely not making a move. I’ll find a healthy way to cope! (writing a thread on Hexbear is probably one I guess)
/rj I’ll surrender to the Volcel Police to be sent to the maleness termination facility
There are no thought crimes.
If your outward behavior hasn’t changed to make them uncomfortable, you’re beating yourself up over nothing, comrade
I don’t think we need to jump to extremes to make a point (pedophilia vs an intense crush). I also think that by centering pedophilia outright, you are not going to stimulate any sort of quality discussion on the topic. Anytime it’s brought up it’ll just be an anti-pedo hate sesh, which I’m ok with, but it’s not quality.
It’s not a thought crime, it’s an unhealthy pattern of thought. There’s no need to be about it
There’s nothing unhealthy about it unless you’re mentally distressed about the sheer act of being attracted to someone or acting impulsively. That’s a whole different issue. Healthy people can fantasize about sex and a future with some stranger and move on with their day without disturbing anyone or themselves
I always feel hesitant posting here since I’m not a native Hexbearian, but as a woman I might offer some perspective.
I have been in the same position as you. I go to a school with a bunch of hot guys, I don’t speak to them, I see them for 2 seconds in the hallways and later they become part of my night fantasies. For days, weeks. Sometimes it’s romantic, too.
Would some of them be horrified to find out what’s going on in my head? Probably. Are my thoughts wrong, immoral or otherwise destructive? No. My thoughts make me feel happy, it’s my happy place with a handful of hotties, I can escape to it when I want and who knows, maybe I’ll pursue one of these males irl sometime.
My point is, if you can at all relate to what I just wrote, then you are not wrong nor at fault. I appreciate that you are being aware as a man of the implications of thinking about this woman so much, but attraction and feeling smitten is natural no matter the sex and societal structures.
Like somebody else said, if you decide to shoot your shot and she rejects you, and you respectfully accept that, you are not a creep. What matters the most is how you handle the possibility of being turned down.
Most crushes are unjustified. Sometimes, that’s the only way for a crush to exist. You get to know someone and the ick kicks in strong.
Okay yeah I can’t argue with that, I guess I just needed to hear it because it feels really obvious now
the good news is, i know black magic and if you cashapp me 50 bucks i actually can remove the patriarchy from your body
the bad news is, this deal is running out in the next 15 minutes, so act fast!
me too tbh, i’m middle eastern so even tho i’ve been an atheist since i was like 6 (reddit moment) i always think “it would be easy to pull a ‘why i used to be a muslim but left islam because i love america’ grift”
WE MAKING IT TO FEDERAL PRISON WITH THIS ONE ENBIES
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
