27 points

Eyes closed. Avoid light. Feel your way to the bathroom. Make sure toilet lid is up (or sit, I’m not judging). Make sure you’re not accidentally in the closet.

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41 points

Always sit, are you kidding? No way I’m peeing standing up with the lights off.

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15 points

I broke my ankle a while back and it never healed properly. Since then I’ve appreciated the relief of sitting to pee.

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13 points

Also, even if you don’t see it, it splashes everywhere.

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4 points

You must be clumsy as fuck if you managed to break you ankle while you were standing to pee. Either that or your technique is waaaaaaaayyy off.

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4 points

Instructions unclear, am now secretly gay

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6 points
*

Just from sitting down to pee once? I knew it

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2 points

Well, now your out of the closet.

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0 points

If I did this I’d end up blindly stepping on a giant house spider or one of the many bugs they’re supposed to be eating. I have too many critters sneaking into my bathroom

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1 point

When my mom was pregnant with my eldest sister in Greece, she apparently once headed to the bathroom, only to find a scorpion waiting on the doorknob.

Stepping on a spider seems preferable.

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21 points

One eye open, switch light on, pee.

Switch light off, open opposite eye, go back to bed

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35 points

Pro move, don’t turn the light on, sit to pee

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11 points

Super pro move: don’t turn the light on, piss all over.

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18 points

Hyper pro move: wear diaper to bed

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10 points

Ultra pro move: Master the art of echo location

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7 points

I do this. Occasionally fall asleep on the toilet. Whatever, mission accomplished.

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2 points

Double pro move: Get a warm color night light

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21 points

No lights at all, sit down to pee, go the fuck back to sleep.

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3 points

aaand I fell into the toilet

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5 points

My bathroom has a small nightlight in it. It’s very dim, but just bright enough to pee by with minimal damage to the sleep cycle.

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3 points

The light in my bathroom is piss-yellow, which I guess also helps because blue light is bad.

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1 point

Slight adjustment: No lights, vape screen is now flashlight.

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8 points
*

Nightlight. Use it when you’re brushing your teeth too, no bright lights an hour before bed.

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7 points

I have mastered this technique to pro level. Now I fall asleep while sitting on the toilet. 🙃

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2 points

have you ever woken up to your legs having fallen asleep on the toilet?

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2 points

Oh my, yes. It is the next step to master. Although it is quite the adventure getting back to bed in that state.

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4 points

Like piloting a gundam for the first time

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7 points

That moment? This is becoming my every day!

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