96 points

Have you tried being born into wealth?

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23 points

I tried real hard, but I got born into lower middle class by mistake. My bad, I should’ve tugged harder on my bootstraps while I was an incorporeal potentiality.

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75 points

I don’t even buy avocado toast, I should be a billionaire by now

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37 points

That’s your problem. If you never buy it in the first place, you can’t stop buying it. You can’t save nothing from nothing!

Here, let me help you out:

  1. Be rich
  2. Squander your money on avocado toast and greater luxuries
  3. Stop squandering your money on these things
  4. Now you’re rich.

If you don’t do 2., how can you expect 3. to work?!

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11 points

Own a home, at least

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49 points

My father has not gifted me the bootstraps made from billions in exploited labour, but the exploitation of coffee producers tastes like I’m already there.

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45 points

the primary habit of successful people is fucking over ignorant poor people who don’t realize they’re being fucked over

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18 points

I get the feeling that the ultra successful also fuck people over who very well do realize that they are being fucked over

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12 points
*

I was just at a depressing job fair trying to recruit for maintenance. It was held at a plant set to close in 3 days. Most of the people I talked to were there for 30 years. It was partially employee owned. Somehow a person in power (I don’t know the piece of shit’s title) convinced the employees to sell their share at the promise of expansion and investment.

The person in power closed the shop, cashed out, and retired. Will not have to worry about a thing. 200 some people and families now have their lives upended at the benefit to few.

This kind of aligns more with the person you responded to but still relevant.

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1 point

Shit like this is always on my mind when I think of how better things would be if the economy was set up in a way that employees were paid with both money and equity in the company they are a part of. The main difference would likely come down to the employees at least getting a share of the sale proceeds when someone else wants to buy the business and liquidate it.

Though I’d hope that most would at least hold out and not take the first big offer.

But I don’t think that a majority vote should be enough to liquidate a business. If just one share wants to keep going, other shares should only have the option to sell their own shares or try to buy the holdout out.

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2 points

Powerlessness is the key demographic

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9 points

Also, make sure you own at least one media giant. Then, you can use it to spread agit-prop about how our society shouldn’t do anything that inconveniences rich a$$holes.

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37 points
*

It’s less a lack of willingness - I’m just never presented with opportunities to massively defraud corporations

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33 points

You don’t defraud corporations, that’ll earn you the scorn of powerful people. You defraud poor people.

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14 points

Well that doesn’t sound nearly as fun

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4 points

But it’s more fun because you get to make more of them.

/s, because last time I didn’t, people took me seriously…

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8 points

Oh, you can defraud shareholders as well. You just have to tell more compelling lies and secure the right accomplices. Get the auditors on board and you can ride the sinking ship for at least a couple years before you finally run out of cash and the entire organization collapses within a matter of days.

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2 points

You don’t stay for years. You smash and grab and bounce to your next gig immediately after getting your quarterly bonuses for unsustainable business practices.

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3 points

You gotta create that opportunity. This guy decided to fake being a real company and started sending invoices to Google and Facebook to the tune of 120 million.

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