Fighting, and losing, against a breakdown at 5AM. I am so tired. Tired of being alone. Of pretending to be happy hoping it sticks. Of feeling useless. Of being unable to leave the apartment. Just of fucking everything.

Time for another 3 hours of sleep before I wake up screaming from another nightmare.

I dunno how much longer I can fucking do this.

#Check in with your fucking friends.

It’s finally going to be cooler in my area this week, and it’s going to rain! I can finally study at my schools library without sweating like a pig and getting sunscreen in my eyes because of it.

Aaaaaa. I started Estradiol Valerate injections Wednesday and I’m every emotion at once. My first time giving myself a dose went better than anticipated, being terrified of needles and such. Scared for the future, if I can financially maintain the cost of the medication and if the fascist state government here leaves medicare coverage for my needs alone. I’m also debating whether or not to give up writing for some time. I’m not very productive due to depression and brain fog. Idk.

Hope everyone gets through the week safe and sound.

I forgot about this thread because of how busy the week has been. It feels like this week has been a month. I had to guide eight new students around campus while keeping up with the new changes in a tight schedule. They were a chaotic bunch, but fortunately pretty responsible. I felt sorry for some others because their mentees were troublemakers or just dramatic.

I’m never doing this again lol. It’s a nice experience to have once, but I don’t like how I get a random group of people that are possibly good or bad. Yesterday I was recuperating from the madness. Today, I think I’ll need to face some issues I put aside for this job. But man, I’m so sleepy.

My partner got infected with covid on vacation and now I have it too, so the weekend isn’t going to be as fun as I had planned :(. Other than that the week was pretty good tho!