69 points

It’s not wrong. No one will go to Heaven.

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17 points

Depending which religion you worship your heaven might already be at max occupancy.

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5 points

Oh, are there religions who believe their afterlife is already full and is now closed? That’s pretty grim.

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7 points

Jehovah’s Witnesses believe heaven has a capacity of 144,000 and everyone else will be resurrected in a body of flesh.

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4 points

Jehovah’s Witness claim only 144,000 total can go to heaven. For a group that claims 8ish million members, that’s a small percentage of even themselves that can make it.

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3 points

Only the dogs go to heaven.

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28 points

Good news if you’re short! Do whatever tf you want, your fate is sealed anyway.

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24 points

If heaven is full of Christians I’m choosing hell

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7 points

As I always said, considering the requirements, heaven must be the most boring place to end up.

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1 point

Good Omens had it right, they have all the musicians.

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1 point

I half remember a Harlan Ellison story where God decided that only man can judge man and put the religious leaders in power to get to determine who goes to heaven. So all the Screaming Mullahs and Pat Robertson types are running things. Harlan Ellison was an angry person.

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15 points
*

“Short people and people who eat too much pork will also not go to heaven.” reminded me of this (SFW actually) Oglaf.

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13 points

And I am the bad guy for yelling at someone for telling my daughters about hell. Yes, me the father. I am a bad person for telling someone to stop lying to my kids about a fake place of pain.

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-3 points

Telling or yelling?

Because yelling just makes you look bad.

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12 points

Sorta both. It really pissed me off. Going up to my six year old and telling her if she is bad she will be thrown into fire. Sick deranged fucks in the world.

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6 points

I’m on board with you man. Real or not, they threatened your kid. It is justified.

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