117 points
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56 points

Haha yes also incredibly that they had to point out this sentence “Tech companies have said scanning messages and end-to-end encryption are fundamentally incompatible.”

Very astonishing how there are some fundamental lacks of understanding from politicians advertising this. Or all on purpose

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36 points

Tech companies have said scanning messages and end-to-end encryption are fundamentally incompatible.

That’s not a given. Imagine messaging is like you trying to pass a note to a classmate in school. End-to-end encryption is like using a cypher based on your friend’s social security number, crumpling up the note, and then shoving the note up Tommy’s ass for them to deliver it to your buddy. Pretty standard note-passing stuff.

Adding the ability for the government to scan your messages is like being that kid who can’t write without mouthing or whispering what you’re writing. Then the teacher says “got it! Don’t worry, I definitely definitely won’t discuss this in the beak room with the other teachers!” And then gives you a big reassuring wink and a smile while you shove the note up Tommy’s ass.

See how everyone gets to have fun in the second scenario? The best part is knowing that no teacher ever has ever done anything bad. The end.

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9 points

Why must you shove things up my ass? Please stop. I am in pain.

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8 points

I have no idea what your point was but I’m still laughing.

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2 points

I’m not surprised at all

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-4 points

Not really. Different websites will treat you differently depending on what country you’re accessing them from.

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12 points

Ah if Internet was only websites, life would be easier.

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-7 points

It is! That’s what the w in www stands for.

Also a totally real fact: putting the “s” at the end of https:// is what makes it secure and it works on other things as well. Eating a brownie is unsecure and dangerous, but brownies has better security and should be consumed frequently.
Here’s some more examples of other everyday items that you can easily secure:

  • Oreo❎ Oreos☑️
  • Sock❎ Socks☑️
  • Fart❎ Farts☑️
  • Douche Canoe❎ Douche Canoes☑️

Items that can’t be secured without modification:

  • Potato❎ Potatoes☑️❔
  • Hamburger Patty❎ Hamburger Patties☑️❔
  • Fish❎ Fishes☑️❔
  • Serial Killer With a Knife❎ Serial Killer With Some Knives☑️❔

Please note that for every rule, there is an exception. Take Deer for example. Deer can’t be secured. Fuck Deer, the lazy unencrypted bastards…

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107 points

Do they want to lose access to… everything on the internet? Because this is how you lose access to everything.

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53 points

Haha yes definitely something to follow. I’m looking forward to lists of companies that left UK because of this (as announced) and lists of companies that stay and thus prove that their end-to-end encryption isn’t a real one

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34 points

I keep forgetting that the UK left the European Union. When I originally read that title I was like how the fuck could that happen? Oh Brexit. That is going to set them back decades.

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24 points
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Don’t you worry, EU votes on killing end-to-end encryption in private messaging next week.

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25 points

Digital Brexit

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63 points

Not even the United States is as determined to become a third-wonld shithole as the UK is.

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42 points

republicans: “hold my beer”

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12 points
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The common thing here is conservatism. It has no borders and thrives on hatred, which is fundamentally human. It will alway exist as an evil. It just varies on how much power they have and is under slightly different names, but they have a common thread of beliefs that always come back. No country or person is immune to this as morally superior they think they are.

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16 points

I don’t get it - where did all these idiots come from in the western developed worlds? It’s like half have forgotten history, and are hell bent on sending us into this fascist dystopia where we’ve forgotten that freedom comes with a price. Nobody likes the darker side of the internet, but punishing regular users and businesses isn’t the answer. Everyone loves to pick on the USA, and we deserve it, but it’s happening seemingly everywhere.

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14 points

Because these people are always there, always waiting. We got lazy about stomping them down.

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-2 points

Where there is money to be made, and influence to be pedaled, Capitalism will find the person to do it for them. If you are doing it because you are evil you are a conservative, if you are doing it because you think you are actually helping the children, you are a liberal. But the outcomes are the same either way.

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58 points
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" Safety Bill " the fucking irony of it Tories making sure we’re the biggest clown show in the world. Well time to shutdown all those https end points and spool up jhonlewi5.co.uk to my offshore account.

“If companies do not comply, media regulator Ofcom will be able to issue fines of up to 18 million pounds ($22.3 million) or 10% of their annual global turnover.” Yet thier mates can quite happly steal tax money under PPE contracts and pump literal shit into our waterways.

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54 points

Well, they already left the EU, now they want to leave the internet, too.

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10 points

Well all you can say is bye bye and good luck

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Privacy

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