Except right between the 7th and 8th playing of Rockstar, I put Photograph.
So that’s how you get a crowd of people to be happy with hearing Photograph!
I once did that on St. Patrick’s Day but with $20 worth of Flogging Molly - Drunken Lullabies. Except for I hit every bar in town.
Get there, get a pitcher of beer with green food coloring, order up $20 worth of Drunken Lullabies, then go on to the next bar once it starts playing. I think most of them were like 2-3 plays per dollar so 40-60 times…
By the time I had gotten to the last bar, there were a couple people crying. Like EVERY single bar in town was only playing Drunken Lullabies all day.
My God it was glorious.
What’s new, pussycat? WHOAAAAAAOOOAAAOOOAAAAAAO
I was with a group years ago where one guy did this at a Pizza Hut.
He put in about $10 and played Happy Birthday repeatedly. But it wasn’t just some normal version of the song. Instead it was some crazy, jazzed up version with multiple singers, firecrackers, etc.
Just incredibly obnoxious.
After about the 8th play through, the manager unplugged the jukebox. The guy who put in the money started an argument with the manager about how now he’s lost his money. After some back and forth, the manager gave up and refunded him $5 … but also made the mistake of plugging the jukebox back in.
Well you can guess what happened next.
We got loudly kicked out after that.
One time I went to a bar with one of these machines and I paid for like 3 songs. Well someone behind me paid extra to prioritize their songs so for 2 hours I heard nothing but Metallica and didn’t hear a single one of my songs.
So right before I left I also paid extra to have this song played immediately, six times in a row.
Who the fuck designed that jukebox, Satan himself?! Both the prioritization function and having that Björk cacophony installed are downright evil.
The prioritization feature is great because, at least on TouchTunes, not even the owner can skip a prioritized song. Unplug the machine and it’ll just resume the song when you start it back up.
Nothing took the wind out of obnoxious drunken revellers quite like what I called The Hard Reset: Miserere mei, Deus followed by Feels So Good followed by the 3 or 4 longest Allman Brothers Band songs available. It worked best when they had Mountain Jam.
I’m so confused why jukeboxes would even offer songs like those.
(Part of it might be that I’m not the kind of person who goes to the kinds of places that have jukeboxes in the first place. When I think of one, I’m still thinking of the kind of machine that has a bunch of CDs in it and an interface simple enough to be either one button per song, or reading a numbered paper list and typing in the number, so maybe 100 or so choices max.)
