I’m tired boss. Goddamn I’m just fucking tired and I can’t even feel okay with that because I feel guilty knowing other people are even more worn out than me.

Diet Quest 2023: Day 257

I actually dieted successfully yesterday, even if that did mean mostly eating freezer waffles because I’m out of groceries. Can I make it two days in a row for the first time in months? I think so!

Diet Quest 2023: Day 256

Still 3.5 months left in the year. This diet doesn’t end until I say it fucking does. I DIDN’T HEAR NO BELL.

Life Quest 2023: Day 255

Why is it so hard to go back to dieting after quitting?? Why can’t I just fucking build a routine again?? I already know I can, I just did it for six whole months. And yet now it’s impossible? The human brain and body are both fucking shit and can go to hell.

Unfortunately it was yesterday. Plus nobody cares about the day you started dating lol, get back to me if we get married. I’ll make sure we do that on 9/11.

The internet and everything connected to it is completely fucking broken. A billion ads, in-content sponsorships, endless CAPCHA bullshit, shoddy pages, forced redirection to mobile apps, whatever the hell Elon did to Twitter, paywalled news articles, two-factor authentication that locks you out or requires a device you don’t have, shows you want to watch split between fifteen streaming services, mountains of spyware and tracking. Nothing fucking works. Nothing works.

I cannot imagine being an old person these days. You want to watch tv? Gotta download the Roku channel, sign up with your computer, use the mobile app as a remote, then the whole thing crashes and your wifi’s all fucked for no apparent reason so you have to go unplug it and start over. I’m still young and even I’m going insane. Capitalism demolishes everything it touches.

Life Quest 2023: Days 253 and 254

I’m officially in a relationship! We might have moved a liiiiitle fast on this but we fell for each other super hard and we’re both optimistic about where this is heading. I went to his apartment on Thursday for dinner and we wound up spending 64 straight hours together, including three nights at his place. It was a whirlwind. I’ve never had a truly positive, stable relationship before, in large part because I spent the first quarter of my life as a bipolar closet case who couldn’t treat myself well, let alone other people. The last five years of being single and engaging in endless self-improvement have put me in a position to finally be half of a strong partnership.

We talked all about our strengths and weaknesses as individuals, our long-term goals, compatibility, etc. It was a really important conversation and we came out of it with a lot of confidence in each other. Now he’s away for the week on a work trip and that time off is healthy since we went all-in this weekend. We’re being pretty levelheaded despite speedrunning relationship status.

I’m so fucking excited to see what happens next! He’s a total catch

People use the n-word around him because they think he’s okay with it and he unloads on them so hard. I hope i get to see it in person one day. What a king.

Life Quest 2023: Day 252

Me and the guy I’m now seeing have been joking about how Republican-passing he is. He’s a big muscular guy with an Oliver Anthony beard and he works in a factory. He’s got a southern accent and used to be a hardcore evangelical right-winger but then he had a come to Satan moment and became an atheist communist. Now he defends trans people at work and can drop some killer Marx quotes out of nowhere. Omg he’s so cool. I’m so lucky.

Life Quest 2023: Days 250 and 251

I HAVE A BOYFRIEND I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP HE IS CUTE AND NICE AND LIKES ME AND HE COOKED ME DINNER AND BREAKFAST HOLY SHIT IT’S HAPPENING