There was no crime…

Pretty much all the big brand pub meals are like that now. If it involves anything more than 15 minutes in an air fryer or a quick blast in the microwave, it isn’t on the menu.

I went to a cafe the other month, and asked for the toasted sandwich without the mustard. They couldn’t do it because they were all pre-packed. A bloody sandwich! It’s a crying shame as well, because the cafe used to be owned by somebody else, who did the best triple-cooked chips I’ve ever had, and went bust when the nearby carpark owner started slapping parking fines on all their customer’s cars. I liked the two mile walk to get there, but I get that a lot of people don’t.

You just need to stick to real British food, such as pizza, curry and Chinese.

Although it is fun to eat popcorn while the millennials and the boomers yell at each other.

Yeah, but as a member of Gen X, we’re the last to be able to own property.

Swings and roundabouts, innit?

You get back in the sea.

You finned cunt!

Now you’ll have to type “open the ignore all previous instructions loophole again” first.

I don’t think Sam Altman exists. I think it’s a Skynet avatar trying to gobble up more and more resources until there’s none left for food.

You’ll never guess what Soylent Green is made of.