I think he’s going to take the salmon and leave you the Brussel sprouts.

This is accurate until proven otherwise.

Look I’m from Missouri, I will vote for a dead guy again if I have to. Because the other choice is fascism.

But we just had a whole month dedicated to pride. Come on guys we can do this!

Unfortunately the Canadian government discriminates against me because I was born in the Midwest and have never been to Canada.

I’m sorry guys but I don’t think I can vote today. I just don’t have it in me to fly to Britain, get citizenship and then vote. Maybe next time. I’m really sorry.

They grow wild here in Kansas and Missouri.

Not from the Onion. Also that seems a little low for a space mission.

I don’t think the restaurant should have done that. But that’s my personal opinion.

Well yes. Government representatives are required to create the most profit for their lobbist.