I’ve reached a point where it feels like talking about an old ex.

“Hey, did you hear? Judy had a kid.”

“Good for her.”

Overall, it doesn’t matter either way because I don’t interact with them anymore. I don’t have malice (that only does you harm), just some good and bad memories from once upon a time.

If you put the yolk into a cup of soil, you should have baby headphones within 2-3 weeks.

Haha, those were excuses because she had already found a new dick.

I had a friend who thought “Netflix & chill” just meant watch movies and relax, so she had it on her dating app profile and couldn’t understand why she only got hookups.

Sure isn’t profitable from me, I haven’t bought shit from them.

Adolf Hitler School for Friendship and Tolerance

That’s some Zoolander quality naming right there.

You know the class is bad when the substitute is wanting to leave. Them kids are fuckin rotten.

I used to want a Tesla. At this point, I’d be embarrassed to drive it.

Sleepy is the product of much GOP work. Donny needs his own.

Drowsy Don?

Tired Trump?

Comatose comb-over?

Dude, where the fuck did they find this guy? I never heard of him and BAM…dude is saintlier than most of the Catholic Church.