comrade_rain [she/her]
I quit dreaming at some point last year. Suppressing nightmares I think.
I started dreaming again recently. And had a very vivid one night before last that was pleasant.
Had an argument with my gf last night, we worked everything out but apparently I had some lingering emotions.
Had a nightmare last night that a very manipulative exgf was hanging out with my current gf. I think some of it’s brainworms and doubts. As that was a lot of the narrative manipulative ex was pushing about me.
I need to find a gender therapist. I like my current one but she’s cis and treating early transition people isn’t her wheelhouse.
12 more days comrades…
spoiler
Zelda but I get to be Zelda.
Love you Link but you’re more like my cute boyfriend and protector these days.
Holy crap the new Zelda game is so cute and giving me that same sense of wonder the first game did when I was a kid. I’m in gamer girl heaven right now.
spoiler
She’s a wizard! You copy and then summon objects and monsters. Puts a fun twist on puzzles and combat.
Okay, I’ll stop gushing now.
That’s some love the sinner hate the sin bullshit. And I would be tempted to start using she her pronouns and a feminine name for them. If they don’t respect you don’t respect them.
Honestly though see if you can find trans community in your area. It can feel awkward being new to those spaces, but I find a lot of commonality with other trans people.
Second laser session on my face this morning. Burning hair is dysphoria leaving the body!
Also a question. I don’t have a lot of body hair to begin with. Will the hormones pretty much wipe out my nipple and stomach hair? The laser clinic is running a deal right now and I can get both of those done for 35 bucks a month (for like three years of payments).
Considering that’s like two packs of cigarettes and I’m trying to quit smoking anyway, I’m seriously considering it. But if the estrogen is going to take care of it likely then I figure I should save my money.
Curious though what have other people’s experiences been with body hair?
subcutaneous estrogen personal timeline
Subcutaneous without an androgen blocker has been good to me.
I am on week 7 I believe. Already showing some boobage. Testicles are way smaller. Sex drive is way different. Much less reactive and defensive (i.e. more likely to cry than get mad). Skin softer. Face more feminine (a laser session helped).
I am having some sensitivity around injection sites. Going to try my thighs instead of my stomach next time. Inject more slow and gentle, see if that helps.
Overall really happy and surprised by the progress. Feeling so glad I started on it.
He does struggle with a lot of personal stuff. Health/disability issues. Medical cannabis to cope with chronic pain.
Before he was a mod I used to chat with him quite a bit on my lemm.ee alt.
pronouns
I’ve seen a picture of him. Very masculine presenting, so I assume he uses he/him pronouns
Hi trans mega! Was posting under a different name here related to my deadname and had to let that go. Was trying to hang onto the past.
Finally settled on a first and last name a few days ago. And it’s alleviated so much doubt and dysphoria.
Feeling comfortable in my skin and loving being trans. Love wearing beautiful outfits. Love the presence of being tall and confident and trans. Finding more safe spaces and letting more bullshit go.
Love my trans comrades! Thanks for the help with the awkwardness of my freshly cracked egg the last few months.