- Cut the cake into portions equal to the number of attendees. Maybe a couple more if you want to save a few slices. Everyone gets to enjoy cake at the party
- Grab a fork, and eat it alone. At a party. All the attendees just watch as you gorge yourself on far more cake than one person should consume. Take the rest home and freeze it so you can continue to be the only one to enjoy it
Capitalists see nothing wrong with option 2.
I prefer option 3: Everyone brings some cake to the party, and everyone gets to enjoy the variety of flavors, because we all pooled resources.
I used to do potluck pie parties, because people are happy to go savory with pie. Chicken pot pie, tamale pie, beef and onion, etc. It’s all about tasty with a crust.
Or option 4: everyone brings some ingredients, or skills, and we all bake varying cakes which are then enjoyed by all, because it’s a cooperating group that doesn’t give one asshole all the cake that’s baked.
Don’t forget to stab people with your fork, if they get too close to your cake.
Pfftt, amateur hour. You’re not a real capitalist success story until you’ve hoarded enough wealth to afford hiring a poor person to do your fork-stabbing for you.
CUT MY CAKE INTO PORTIONS
EQUAL TO THE NUMBER OF PEEPS
MANY SLICES
SO YUMMY
THIS IS THE BEST PARTY
Capitalist version:
CUT MY CAKE IN NO PIECES
THIS IS MY SOLO TORTE
IT’S JUST FOR MY
OWN EATING
DON’T GIVE A FUCK IF IT MEANS THAT I’M GREEDY
Cut my cake into pieces
I’ve eaten my solo tort
All for me, no sharing
Oh did you think I’d be sharing?
Do you even care if I die eating?
It would be right, it’s always right
To hog the cake to myself
Let the proles eat what they might
All the cake is out of sight
And I’m contemplating a second plate
Cuz I’m eating my cake, Eating my cake
No one else is eating my cake
Eating my cake, eating my cake
No one else even needs a plate
That’s the beauty of capitalism, it’s your cake. Do whatever you want with it.
Hey there, pal! Gotta say, I respectfully disagree with your take on taking a slice of cake under capitalism for yourself and not sharing it with other people. Now, I’m not here to rain on your parade or anything, but let’s dive into this and have a little chat about it.
Now, you mentioned capitalism, and boy, oh boy, that’s a whole can of worms right there! Under capitalism, my friend, you gotta work to eat that slice of cake. It’s not just handed out willy-nilly. I mean, think about it – in a capitalist society, resources are distributed based on productivity and the market’s demand. You work, you earn money, and then you can reward yourself with that scrumptious slice of cake.
Sure, it might seem unfair to some, but it’s the system we’ve got for now. So, instead of complaining about not getting your cake without doing anything, why not channel that energy into working hard, improving your skills, and securing your own slice? It might not be the easiest path, but it’s the one that capitalism lays out for us.
Now, I’m not here to push any specific ideology on you, but it’s essential to understand the underlying principles governing our society. And as someone who majored in Economics, well let me just aay i feel I am certified in this field. So, my friend, let’s strap on our work boots, embrace the capitalist game, and earn that slice of cake together!
