74 points

Player 5: My parents were adventurers and pressured me into this life. Every summer it was adventure camp. Battle training for three hours a day on top of lessons in navigation, foraging, survival, and lute lessons. I’m only doing this because I have no other skills. Thanks mom & dad…

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34 points

This is exactly what I would do if I rolled god like stats

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15 points

All they ever wanted was to sit in a library and copy texts.

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14 points

I imagine every now and again an ancient tome speaks to them only for them to roll their eyes and put it in a special chest their parents gave them.

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8 points

“You could play music at this tavern.”

“I think I’d rather get eaten.”

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54 points

My current campaign has a character whose parents still live in the town where the adventure is largely based. A lot of effort is spent convincing other townsfolk not to tell his mother what he’s been up to. It’s fantastic.

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38 points
*

This is my current campaign.

One of my party members is the last survivor of a noble family who got murdered by an usurper, the other is a paladin who swore vengeance against a demonic cult, and the other is a girl who sold her soul to obtain enough power to get retribution against the one who killed her entire family.

And then there’s me, a goofy dude who has spent a peaceful life as a city guard and is actually pretty chill and looking forward to inheriting his family’s shop.

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25 points

looking forward to inheriting his family’s shop.

Dm : I think I’m gonna try to kill this guy

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20 points
*

My character is also about to hit retirement, and is a black dude.

If I survive this, then I’ve truly reached the peak of my DnD career.

Fun fact: Last session I came really close to dying. The DM rolled for damage and I was totally dead, then remembered the 5 temp HP from fighting spirit. I was left with 1 HP.

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6 points

I love it when you actually remember the ability that saves you in the moment rather than 5 rounds later. But if you were left with 1hp then surely you’d only have been unconscious from the attack anyway?

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33 points

Player 1’s father is obviously the Warlord.

Player 2’s father is also the Warlord. He killed the father in the same way Darth Vader killed Anakin Skywalker.

Player 3’s mother sold their soul for the Warlord to fall in love with her.

Player 4’s Father is the Warlord and Player 3’s Mother. Except after they got together they settled down for a happily ever after.

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19 points

Tune in next week for another exciting episode of 'El Maestro de Mazmorras (dramatic… pause) de Amor"

organ music intensifies

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My sister is currently playing as a sentient plate of nachos.

I don’t even know what fucking books she found the rules for that in, and I don’t know if I want to know.

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10 points

she found a tome of eldritch lore

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2 points

They’re not your books.

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