This why I like the origin of vampires being Judas’ failed suicide attempt. Explains the silver allergy, too.
I forget which movie it’s from, but they said the first vampire was Judas. He tried to hang himself after he betrayed Jesus but just before he died the branch broke at sunset and he became a vampire.
Explains the blood - since he can’t have communion - and the silver - because he sold Jesus out for silver talents (money) - and the hatred of lower-case t, and the aversion to sunlight.
Sorry to fact-check a pretty good shitpost, but I don’t think lowercase t existed until later
The letter T looked like a cross for about 1750 years before Jesus
These came from a sort of “this sounds like” alphabet. Like if you wanted to write D but drew a picture of a dog, because that starts with a D sound. Or when someone on the phone says “A as in Adam.”
So the word for dude with a tiny hat started with an R sound, just like the word for the A sounded like an A sound.
“You are a fool, Jacinto, all of my ancestors were Jews!”
Vampires existed long before the church. They just have a brain disorder that gives them a seizure when they see straight right angles. Right angles don’t really exist in nature. Humans found out this and started making crosses. Humans created the church to maintain this knowledge during the vampires long hibernation periods of around 1000 years. (Credit to author Peter Watts “Blindside”)
Nah, vampires only hibernated a generation or two. Just long enough for prey populations to grow back to sustainable levels, and just long enough forget them and begin to scoff at grandma’s crazy campfire tales.
Peter Watts - Blindsight
And yes, it’s hard science fiction. With a vampire ship captain. Seriously.
Many versions free on the author’s site. Give the prologue a spin.
I loved Blindsight (the name of the book is not Blindside) but that was one of the most ridiculous paragraphs I’ve ever read.
The natural world is filled with right angles. Many rocks erode into perfect right angles because of their cleave points. Saplings grow at right angles to the ground. Branches of older trees are sometimes at perfect right angles to the trunk.
Anyone who has gone on a hike sees right angles everywhere. Vampires couldn’t walk a kilometer without a seizure from naturally occuring right angles.
In the Neutronium Alchemist (or one of the books in the Nights Dawn series) a vampire basically says “I was Muslim but that cross only works if you believe it works”
E.g. it’s the fundamental belief of the person wielding it that has the “psychic” effect on the ghost/vampire/remnant.
Edit: apparently it was a ghost who was Sunni and it’s the belief of the ghost that does it. E.g. why the crucifix had no effect on him but a crescent, for example, may have.