Being on friendly terms with past partners is another one. Or for that matter cherishing the memories of the good times with those partners. A lot of people seem to think that after a breakup you should hate your ex forever and burn all pictures, throw away any object they ever gave you,… but that is actually quite unhealthy (unless abuse or stalking or similar things were involved of course). If a relationship does not work out that doesn’t mean that other options, such as friendship, might not be on the table and even if they aren’t that doesn’t mean you can’t treat each other like regular acquaintances when you randomly meet somewhere. Obviously they might not be an option immediately after a breakup but once time has dulled the pain a bit a friendship is absolutely possible with someone you initially shared enough interests with to try a relationship.
I feel that. It may be hard to believe but the breakup was amicable. It’s just really hard to make a 7 time zone difference work, especially almost 20 years ago when video chat was not what it is today. The few times we had together I really do cherish, but it was not the right time or place. We’re now only 1 time zone apart and haven’t seen each other since her wedding, but we do still keep up with each other periodically.
It is possible to be happy for an ex and really wish them the best.
I recall someone asking “Then why did you break up if you are good buds?”.
Sometimes it’s easier being friends rather.
Exes belong to life and memories as much as anyone in any other role. No need to forget them any more or less than anyone else (painful feelings and memories are another story).
Sometimes you can take a pause after a breakup to kill feels and later come back to friendly terms.
When they mention that someone else is attractive. This is often seen as a red flag by people with insecurities but really it means your partner trusts you enough to actually mention such attractions. The state some insecure people want is that their partner is never attracted to anyone else but that is completely unrealistic. So the actual choice is between honesty and lies. And you do not want your partner to have to constantly watch every word they utter around you to coddle your insecurities as that will likely lead to worse communication between you in general. This goes for other topics as well of course but jealousy inducing ones are very common.
To be nice or friendly with kids.
As a man (I know starting a sentence that way can also be a red flag), I’m always nervous when kids interact with me.
It feels like I’m being judged harshly for just wanting to be friendly and that I could so quickly be accused of being a pervert or worse.
So I just don’t interact with them.
My policy as a recently new father will also probably be that I won’t have my daughter’s friends over when I’m the only adult present.
Get this: my friend is “not allowed” to be left alone with his daughter. His own daughter. If wife needs to go out without baby, baby gets dropped off at grandparents (wife’s parents) instead of just staying home with dad. What’s even more ridiculous is his profession is early childhood educator. He’s more qualified than most other parents out there, male or female. I don’t know how he puts up with being insulted like that.
That’s actually disgusting. Does he want it like this for some reason? Is there something in the past? Or is it just “penises will rape, that’s what they do”?
That’s beyond insulting, I’d call that a controlling / abusive relationship. And if his wife seriously thinks he’s a risk to their child why the fuck would she have a baby with him and stay with him? That poor kid is going to grow up with a really damaging view of men, male / female relationships, and parental relationships.
I HAVE been accused of being a pervert, once, and it was fucking weird
Was at the store and some kid walked up to me thinking I was my dad (works at a local school and we look a lot alike, have the same name even)
Told the kid nah, that he had mistaken me for my dad, and then suddenly his mom appears and grabs the kid while telling me to “stay away from her kid you long haired freak”
Again, I look like my dad (he also has long hair) to the point of this kid mistaking me for him, yet I was still some random creep to this lady
People stop seeing normal human dudes in public once a kid is around and it can really suck sometimes
I’m sorry for this. I adore seeing men being fathers, being positive adults in the lives of children. my own dad was more absent than not, but my grandfathers taught me a lot about how to be a decent human being, how to have relationships with others.
please don’t be absent for your daughter just because too many people have forgotten men are also capable of being nurturing adults for children.
What kind of society or culture considered being friendly towards children a red flag? Spoken as both a father of two and former child: you can be friendly to children without being a creep.
Not talking all the time when spending time together. Being able to just quietly enjoy each other’s company sometimes is actually a good thing since it allows both partners to relax without constantly worrying about keeping their partner’s attention or keeping them entertained.
Currently sitting next to silent bf silently. We just grunt at each other for days in a row. Live with someone wanting constant interaction = hell.
My wife and I have a whole system:
- one grunt = I love you / thanks
- two grunts = I want attention and love
- one long grunt = I am in whine mode and want to talk about it
- two short grunts = I want to fuck you
- three short grunts = I’m hungry and want snacks
What happens if you don’t hear the first of three short grunts? Does one of you wonder why the other one is naked when they really just want a burrito?
Taking some time to calm down during a fight if getting angry/sad/whatever.
The other party might think that you are running away.
Make sure they know that you continue once calmed down.
It’s very important, if you need, to take a short rest to recover some HP at the least or a long rest if you need your party at full fighting potential.
