"I’ve got just the place for low-cost housing. I have solved this problem. I know where we can build housing for the homeless: golf courses! It’s perfect! Just what we need. Plenty of good land, in nice neighborhoods, land that is currently being wasted on a meaningless, mindless activity engaged in primarily by white, well-to-do male businessmen who use the game to get together to make deals to carve this country up a little finer amongst themselves.
I am getting tired, really getting tired, of these golfing cocksuckers in their green pants, and their yellow pants, and their orange pants, and their precious little hats and their cute little golf carts! It is time to reclaim the golf courses from the wealthy and turn them over to the homeless! Golfing is a arrogant, elitist game which takes up entirely too much room in this country. Too much room’ in this country! It is an arrogant game on its very design alone, just the design of the game speaks of arrogance.
Think of how big a golf course is - the ball is that fucking big! What do these pin-headed pricks need with all that land?! There are over seventeen thousand golf courses in America, they average over one hundred and fifty acres a piece - that’s three million plus acres, four thousand, eight hundred and twenty square miles - you could build two Rhode Islands and a Delaware for the homeless on the land currently being wasted on this meaningless, mindless, arrogant, elitist, racist, there’s another thing; the only blacks you’ll find at country clubs are carrying trays.
And a boring game. A boring game for boring people. You ever watch golf on television? It’s like watching flies fuck! And a mindless game, mindless. Think of the intellect it must take, to draw pleasure from this activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick and then, walking after it! And then, hitting it again! I say pick it up asshole, you’re lucky you found the fucking thing! Put it in your pocket and go home, you’re a winner! You’ve found it! No chance of that happening. Dork-o in the plaid knickers is going to hit it again and walk some more. Let these rich cocksuckers play miniature golf! Let them fuck with a windmill for an hour and a half or so! See if there’s any real skill among these people.
Now I know there are some people who play golf who don’t consider themselves rich. FUCK 'EM! And shame on them for engaging in an arrogant, elitist passtime."
-George Carlin
I’d love to hear his addendum about Trump being a big golfer. And a golf cheat. We really need George Carlin today.
He would love to muse about these times as he did so well, but he abandoned hope for humanity getting it’s head out of its ass decades before he died. Can’t say as I blame him, he was right about our nature. A person is great. People clumping up in groups in groups end in blood, cruelty, and tears on a long enough timeline.
I would take solace in those musings as well though.
Even better is when they destroy a bunch of virgin land to make a course when courses are already overbuilt in the area, then close it.
I lived in a city that had a mayor who was elected to a few terms and was going on 10-11 years in office. An out-of-state developer wanted to turn 400 acres of old growth forest by Lake Superior into a golf course, spending about 25 million. For some reason he made this basically the only thing he tried to get to happen in his last 2 years in office. This was also at a time when a lot of courses were struggling or closing because they had built too many in the early 2000s.
Many people were opposed to it but the usual sort of people thought it was great because ‘wow someone is spending money’. One fairly dim guy I knew who worked in construction said “YEAH. Do you know how many jobs that will make??”. The problem is they were going to hire a bunch of people to build it, which would take about 6 months, and then the permanent positions at the course were going to be like 6 people. Finally, they didn’t do it, the mayor left office, and basically nobody ever talked about it again.
had a mayor who was elected to a few terms and was going on 10-11 years in office. An out-of-state developer wanted to turn 400 acres of old growth forest by Lake Superior into a golf course, spending about 25 million. For some reason he made this basically the only thing he tried to get to happen in his last 2 years in office. This was also at a time when a lot of courses were struggling or closing because they had built too many in the early 2000s.
Many people were opposed to it but the usual sort of people thought it was great because ‘wow someone is spending money’. One fairly dim guy I knew who worked in construction said “YEAH. Do you know how many jobs that will make??”. The problem is they were going to hire a bunch of people to build it, which would take about 6 months, and then the permanent positions at the course were going to be like 6 people. Finally, they didn’t do it, the mayor left office, and basi
Thanks for putting that last line in there. I was getting progressively more irate.
Any decision made to create or preserve jobs is inherently wasteful. You’re spending money to avoid losing an economic output that the market has decided no longer needs to exist.
Capitalist economics is more complicated than that, though, since there are artificial boom-and-bust cycles. People do deserve employment.
The people really pushing the project were the developers, a few people who stood to make an outiszed portion of the money, and the apparently corrupt mayor who I’m sure was planning on lining his own pocket somehow.
People can be employed in fields where they’re needed. You wouldn’t argue about maintaining coal mining jobs, would you? I’m all for funding a “coal to clean energy” apprenticeship/certification program or something, but refusing to adopt fridges so the milkman doesn’t have to find a new job is a sure fire way to stifle progress and waste taxpayer money on subsidies.
We should just have forest golf. Plant crap tons of trees and make golf actually strategic
Like big minigolf, where you have to bounce the ball off objects. Maxi-golf
Yes! I’ve been saying this for years. Playing in the desert? Better wear your snake boots and bring plenty of water. Swamps? Bring floating balls, bring snake boots again, and watch for gators. Beach? Better get a good tee time to align with low tide. Leave no trace golfing. Extra strokes for disturbing the wildlife. Strokes off for litter and invasive species removal.
Isn’t regular golf forest golf? Or it was at least the last time I played.
I played golf for the first time recently, it’s not as boring as it looks… basically a fun way to be outside with friends and do something challenging.
The course I played on maintained the local geography and incorporated it into its holes. That made for a gorgeous landscape, and, as an example, one hole required a shot over a forested ravine, both a tricky shot, and a nice way to keep the natural landscape, flora, and fauna as intact as possible.
I confirmed that they only use non-drinkable water for irrigation, and there were no vast spans of grass, only patches that used to be empty land beforehand. That only made the course more challenging.
All in all, what I’m trying to say is that this sport can be done in a way that’s overall fine. Sure, replacing native flora with grass isn’t good but it’s ok if done in small patches and responsibly. Golf has become a symbol of classism but it’s something anyone can enjoy if they have access to it, it isn’t even particularly expensive. It isn’t great but, done morally, isn’t bad either.
And there is a risk in making it a symbol in that way: it makes for a wrong target and a waste of resources. Activists filling up holes makes a point but there’s much more important stuff to do. If you’re an environmentalist or an urbanist, cars and oil companies should be pretty much your only concern; golf courses can be dealt with later.
Golf courses actually see pretty frequent use; anybody who has played a public course on the weekend knows what it’s like to be constantly waiting to take your shot because the group in front of you is still putting, and the group behind is waiting to take their tee shot.
A much bigger waste of resources and land are the sterile suburban yards that barely get used at all.
I do wonder how much fertilizer runoff, herbicide use, etc the average golf course is responsible for
Fishing is a way more boring sport, but at least it takes up literally 0 land.
The thing about fishing for me is that it’s about exploring the lake and relaxing. It ain’t called “catching” for a reason.
But I don’t really do catch and release. I eat what I catch (provided it’s a legal size/species of course). I feel like catching fish just to catch them is kinda a dick move.
People don’t go out to the woods and shoot a deer in the leg and walk away. So why should we put a hook in a fish’s lip/throat just for giggles?
