And then you get out of school and realise that those were the good times.
I mean, for the subset of people who go to uni and can support themselves without also working a lot in that time, yeah.
In my time at uni there was
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work, at which the hours were inconsistent
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coursework, which there was a lot of
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constantly battling a shit landlord who didn’t give a toss about uni students and left the flat in disrepair, but the housing shortage meant he could get away with charging a fortune for a mouldy flat with broken windows and non-working appliances
There was a lot of good, sure, but uni can be a very stressful time.
I think a big difference is what the free time is like. I worked full time or nearly through college, so I didn’t have much free time in terms of quantity. When I got it, it was often with friends and during the day. When I graduated, I got a job with regular hours for the first time- I had so much free time, but I didn’t have a lot to fill it with, nor did I have a lot of energy after sitting down. Developing an active hobby helped with both, but doesn’t work for everyone.
I’m in grad school now, working 30 hours a week, and I do feel much more weighed down, but I’m able to set my own schedule a lot more than I could when I worked in an office
So basically “people who would still get a job at daddy’s company regardless of a degree but a degree looks better for PR”
But university students manage to feel overwhelmed if their course load has them putting in 35 hours a week.
I always got pretty worried when adults kept saying that school was the good times growing up, as I didn’t have a particularly good time, and was not onboard for it being downhill from there.
Luckily I’ve learned that it’s not actually universally applicable, my life has definitely just gotten better as I’ve gotten older.
It’s different.
It’s way better in some ways - especially if you find a good career in a field you’re passionate about.
But some of the responsibilities of adulthood are a burden that is hard to appreciate until you’re there. And the perspective gained by life experience is also very different, for better or worse.
For instance, I went through a breakup last year at 39 with someone I was fully expecting to marry. It was my first major relationship failure in decades, and as I was being dumped I expected it to crush me.
What ended up hurting the most was that it didn’t hurt that much. I didn’t spiral into depression or fall apart at work. I wasn’t happy about it, but I was fine. A younger me would have been overwhelmed by the emotional toll, but the adult me was able to keep moving forward without breaking stride.
And in a way that’s what hurts. The passion of youth has been tempered by a lifetime of experience that puts everything into perspective.
Ugh, as you get older, everything just starts to dull. Things are less important, less passionate, and more “meh” in general. And not in a depressed way, but more specifically that I’ve been there, done that for most emotions I could have.
I will say that now that I have an infant daughter, I’m finding those passionate emotions again and I’m excited as she’s excited and sad when she’s sad. That is the great part about parenting.
They’re the good times because you see you had no responsibilities and endless potential to be so many things, which becomes less and less true as you age. Of course, it’s miserable too not knowing what you are/what to do and feeling lost because you have no responsibilities, so it’s really just a grass is greener thing I imagine.
Yeah I think it is a greener grass situation. Sure you may have no responsibilities, but you also have less freedom in school. You can’t live on your own, can’t drink or gamble or vote or anything like that, can’t go where you want, etc. There’s always a trade-off.
For me, school was a shithole that I was glad it was over, those were not the good years. Things are not perfect, but they have gotten radically better ever since.
The only thing about school that was good is that I made a few very good friends. Those are probably going to be life long friendships.
I just started my internship, and I have to say, it is so good not to have to worry about exams, projects and so on aftera full day of school and on weekends. When I close the lid of the laptop, the day is over. Plus I get smaller days, from 9 to 5 instead of from 8 to 5/6. I have never had as much free time
Not trying to downplay your experience, but uni was actually so much better for me… being able to focus on things that actually coincide with my interests and abilities in Uni was so liberating after being forced to go through five classes a day five days a week, most of which were either insultingly idiotic or existentially difficult… Not to mention having an actually human-paced schedule with ample time to plan ahead instead of constantly being in damage reduction mode. I remember thinking to myself in the first year of uni: “Is this what normal life is supposed to feel like?” I’m still recovering from school emotionally, but the fact that I finally have the mental space to recover is definitely a good sign. I guess you and I just have way different schools, universities, and personal circumstances!
I’ve got some bad news for you…
Yeah, that totally ends with school.
I definitely don’t live in this state perpetually while I work with no summer break and just a few days at Christmas. Nope. Definitely not.
Being American sounds shit. You really need to fight for paid holiday & sick leave. It’s fucking bonkers you don’t have it.
I’m Canadian, where we market ourselves as better than Americans, but somehow I get more holidays when I’m working for US firms.
Canada is a resource colony state and always has been.
The Americans probably think you’re a limp-wristed monarchist-loving Moose herder who needs his breaks to go pray to the King and chop wood. Don’t question it! The UK and Europe have minimum paid holiday levels, maternity/paternity and paid sick leave. Surprised Canada doesn’t but you guys need to do something about that too.
This seems like the perfect place to use “oh my sweet summer child”
At the time it really was like this. The amount of responsibility and work felt immense.
At the time it really was like this. The amount of responsibility and work felt immense.
Go wild kids!
