49 points

Hot take:

Every time I see a Doctor Seuss parody that doesn’t respect the very strict meter that made his stuff flow so well, it’s always followed by about five minutes of me trying to fix it and then stopping because that was supposed to be the author’s responsibility. You can sneak in an extra syllable here or there, and there will be situations where it’s ambiguous based on word pronunciation, but any more than two syllables off and you should’ve workshopped it some more.

Take all of these matters most seriously
The gravest of grave should be clear
To step out of meter where any could see
Will only get side-glancing sneers

And who, then, shall patch up this unfinished road
Assembled with half-baked word stones?
'Tis not my intent but I think it’s best flowed
With a concrete from Onceler’s old bones

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14 points
*

I’d say poor meter is in the creative realm of stick figures. its a valid shortcut to make a point or punchline. but I can understand why it bothers you

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5 points

Very well put, better than I could have said it myself

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19 points

Since when does twat rhyme with not?

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19 points

In the US, they both use the same ending sound which is similar to “aht”. So “Twaht” and “naht” sound like they rhyme.

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10 points

In American accents it does. Does it rhyme with “cat” where you live?

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14 points

“How about some scat, you little twat?”

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7 points

Depends on which side of the pond you’re on

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7 points

Americans pronounce it twot like a bunch of twats

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9 points
*

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,

I’ll make sure you’re not living much longer. You’re not."

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5 points

Bold move, threatening the guy that’s holding an axe

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10 points

Bro, he’s a fucking Lorax.

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4 points

The Lorax

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3 points

Ever wonder what happened to the other Loraxes? We’re about to find out…

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5 points

Mother Nature might not win. Mother Nature could theoretically die completely. But that’s when Father Outer Space takes over the planet.

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3 points

Mother Nature and Father Outer Space have nothing on Grandaddy Particle Physics

Just take a look at Wikipedia’s timeline of the far future. Only one subject survives longer than 10^36 years

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2 points

Wikipedia’s timeline of the far future

That was a far-out read, thanks. I was all hyped about the Andromeda Galaxy merging with the Milky Way, until I realized that humanity would be extinct or highly speciated.

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