33 points

I did the math. Even at 3 meals a day a dog is not living that long.

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9 points

64 year old dog?

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2 points

Could it be Mr House’s dog?

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2 points

I did literally the exact same math & came to comment. 😆

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2 points

😭

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2 points

Dogs can live 25 years ish. That’s 7-8 meals per day, which many dogs would gladly eat, but wouldn’t be a healthy way to feed them.

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29 points

listen, dog kibble is like, scientifically engineered and shit to give them a balanced diet full of all the nutrients every dog needs completely

if there were people kibble just like that i’d probably eat it too

and not just because i find puppygirls enthralling >////>;

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25 points

Bachelor Chow. Now with flavor!

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7 points

My recipe for bachelor chow:

  • 1 can spam
  • 1 can baked beans
  • 2 cups cooked rice

Cube and pan-fry the spam, then dump it in a bowl with the other ingredients

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4 points

Needs less salt and way more veggies.

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1 point

will this have the full nutritional profile my puppygirl needs

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2 points

Flavor?! Whoa now let’s not get carried away XD

Actually if anything they could upcharge for “flavor mods” designed to compliment the kibble…

(They’re literally just like the powdered flavoring that comes with ramen though :p)

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8 points

I dream with a human kibble too. The closest things I’ve found is Soylent and it’s competitors.

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4 points

I actually have quite enjoyed Soylent!

However, it’s designed for people with normal metabolisms and digestive systems.

My metabolism is giga fucked forever and I’ve basically already consumed an entire lifetime’s worth of carbohydrates. So carbs make me sick. Joint pain, inflammation, swelling in the extremities of my limbs, fatigue, trouble sleeping… I know it’s carbs because these symptoms stop when I stop eating carbohydrates.

They’re just really gods damned hard to avoid.

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3 points

Sorry to hear that! But yeah, I enjoy it too. It took a couple of tries to get used to the soy flavor, but after that, it’s great! If I’m too depressed or lazy to feed myself I can just make a glass of sweet vanilla-dlavored dystopian slop and that’s it. It’s great mixed with fruit and yogurt too.

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1 point

I make my own. Pasta and rice, some veggies, maybe a bit of protein thrown in. I like it because I can just shovel it into my mouth instead of having to cut or eat it in small bites.

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1 point

Oh yeah! I’ve heard there is a really bigg DIY human kibble community too. But if u can barely feel myself, I’n definitely not functional enough to DIY it xD

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1 point

I’ve been happy with Huels hot and savory pastas, the quinoa ones aren’t as good in my opinion without doctoring them up with some extras. It takes a few tries to nail down how to scoop the proper amounts of powder and pasta from the bag, and then the amount of water to use, but once I did that, it’s about as good as leftovers from a restaurant.

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5 points

Pretty sure kibble is shit for their kidneys. Dry food isn’t perfect for them obviously. For cats for instance a lot of cat food contains grains, which they shouldn’t ever eat. Only the shittiest brands like Whiskas do that though.

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1 point

It’s designed to constipate them as well. You don’t want your dog shitting 8 times a day.

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3 points

Yup. The only dry food that is fine is 100% freeze dried meat / fish, but only as a treat, so again their kidneys don’t take a huge hit. Cats usually don’t like drinking water itself (they take in water from their killed prey usually) and feeding them anything dry makes them even more susceptible to kidney problems.

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2 points
*

Eh. Dog kibble is engineered to benefit the human. They should be eating a variety of fresh foods. Majority meat, organ, and a calcium source with some fresh vegetables thrown in for vitamins. Kibble is human laziness, capitalist “innovation,” and sacrificing our supposed beloved pets for our own convenience and to save money.

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25 points

I am definitely in the minority here, but I can eat the same meal everyday for years.

Before I graduated college, I was overweight. I never got any attention from women, and all my friends thought I was nonathletic. I started waking up at 5:30AM everyday, running a few miles, and then showering before anyone else got up. But I wasn’t seeing the results I wanted, because I hadn’t changed my diet. So I started tracking exactly how much I was eating, and oh boy, everyone who’s done that probably has a similar reaction e.g. “Holy shit I’ve been eating so much.”

So I worked out a meal plan for myself. 500 calories of Steel-cut oatmeal in the morning, intermittent fast through lunch, then 1000 calorie dinner comprised of vegetable soup (add in some croutons and tobasco), turkey sandwiches (open faced for half the bread) with a bag of baby carrots. I use the baby carrots to help me pace the rest of the meal, basically, eat some baby carrots, then one sandwich, then some more baby carrots, then the next sandwich, then some more, then half the soup, then finish the baby carrots, finish the soup. The whole thing takes about 45 minutes to an hour to eat, and leaves me very full.

I’ve rotated out what kind of canned soup I use, as well as the accoutre-mount of sandwich add-ons (cheddar cheese with jalepeno vs. pepper-jack with banana pepper), but I’ve pretty much eaten this meal everyday since 2010.

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4 points
*

Absolutely. I only tracked my calories for like two and a half months. A few years ago. Because of that I stopped buying nearly as much junk food, less sugary foods, less meat, switched to diet soda/flavored sparkling water etc. like oh my god, any food that involves a potato and oil has to be treated with the caution you’d give a moose.

For anyone trying to lose weight, a really good start is downloading a free calorie tracking app and track calories for just a few weeks. You don’t have to change your diet, don’t need to get on any plan or anything, just quantify what you’re putting into your body and you’ll develop a 5th sense at the grocery store for what kinds of things you need to limit.

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3 points

Yup. I went years having tuna sandwiches for lunch.

It helps that I’m really uninspired by food, but if you don’t eat it you get weak and die so I relent and eat.

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1 point

Hopefully that’s in the past, because that’s a lot of mercury you’re getting having tuna daily. If not for the mercury concern I would probably do that myself though

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2 points

Even in this context you’re alternating between an oatmeal and a regular meal!

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13 points

At three meals a day that’s over 63 years

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It’s in dog years, honey, next!

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1 point

so thats 69,420 dog days?

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6 points

Who would scoff at the first one?

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11 points

A lot of people do, weirdly. My dad is super obese and would rather eat weird smelling old ass cheap processed meat than anything remotely healthy. But he would bever eat the same thing twice a day, or the next day. Everything he cooks and doesn’t eat gets immediately thrown away. Meanwhile i can cook on sunday and eat it for a week.
There was this throwaway line in some random sitcom where someone aks if they want to have Chinese food for dinner and he says something like: we had chinese food yesterday. On which he replied: chinese people eat chinese food everyday.

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6 points
*

Fun fact, most Chinese people would have to fly to the US or travel to a tourist specialized area since Chinese food as known in the west was invented in California. American Chinese cuisine is a fusion of Cantonese style food with American ingredients and tastes, and it’s hard to find in China. So, in a way, Chinese people actually don’t eat (American) Chinese food everyday if ever. And probably for the better, eating so much salt, msg and certain fats everyday is likely not a very healthy diet.

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2 points

I eat the same thing for breakfast and at lunch every day at work and it’s definitely viewed as weird behaviour.

My girlfriend is absolutely opposed to having the same dinner two days in a row.

I do agree that variety is the spice of life but I’m absolutely fine with the idea of eating the same things time after time (as long as they taste nice).

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