A few years ago I started getting random texts in the middle of the night from some guy who thought I was a girl he’d met at a bar. I guess the guy was kind of a pest so she gave him a made up number that just happened to be my number. I tried politely explaining that I was:

a. not a girl

b. definitely not anyone he knows

and

c. trying to sleep because it’s 2am

He seemed to think this was some sort of courtship game and kept messaging me until I finally just told him to fuck off

This scenario kept repeating itself every few weeks apparently whenever he would get drunk and/or horny in the middle of the night

It kept going until one night I finally told him I would meet him somewhere and just went back to sleep

I never heard from him again after that… Maybe he’s still waiting there? 😂

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56 points

He 100% jerked off to your texts.

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He can do whatever he wants to my texts as long as I don’t have to hear about it lol

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29 points

Whenever someone deserved a dick pick it’s the guy behind those texts.

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19 points

Did you lnow that most phones make it easy to block numbers?

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22 points

I’ve learned nothing since I got my first phone and that bad boi didn’t even have a clock.

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3 points

I’ve always had an android, and never have had a phone that actually blocks a number. All they’ll do is send the call straight to VM.

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4 points

The only smartphones I have used are androids and know for sure that after the call goes to voicemail you can click on the call for more options and and block the number. Not sure if it gives the option during the call unless it suspects it is spam. I just double checked on a number that wasn’t in my contacts.

May not be available on every model, but every one I have owned had the block option.

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1 point

Ah no, that’s a Samsung thing (potentially some more) where it is needlessly complicated to block numbers.

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4 points

That seems like a lot of work in a world where blocking exists.

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23 points

I’m bringing* chili

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19 points

I’m bringing chili

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9 points

I’m bringing chili

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Ok

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8 points

I’m bring chili

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6 points

I’m bringing chilli

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2 points

We’re having sloppy joes!

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3 points

MONGOOSE!

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3 points

Gasp - mongeese!

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13 points

I just go along these random conversations

“No I’m bring chili”

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3 points

If they refuse to believe it’s a wrong number there would be a tiny voice in the back of my head telling me to make life as surreal as possible for the person they think I am. Make false but harmless promises, spread absurd rumors, that sort of thing.

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3 points

“we ran out of tater tots, uncle Frank is making a scene”

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8 points

Read it like gangsta rap and it’s just needs a good backbeat.

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1 point
*

Step to me and you’ll be steppin’ to Billy,

Fuck with me and I’ll be bringing chili.

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7 points

Wrong number of texts, too

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