Why YSK: many countries have issues with weight, such as mine with 74% of US adults being overweight or obese. The global weight loss industry is over $200 billion yearly, with many influencers, pills, and surgeries promising quick results with little effort. These often come with side effects, or don’t work long term.
Studies suggest filling yourself with foods low in caloric density and high in fiber, like fruits and vegetables, can help reach and maintain a healthy weight. It’s good to have these foods available in our living spaces to make the choice easy. Your taste buds will likely adapt to love them if you’re not there yet.
Better: just learn to live with not feeling satiated all the time.
Not that you shouldn’t make vegies a significant part of your diet, just that a big part of the lifestyle change is learning to be hungry between meals as a normal and non-distressing thing.
That’s a more complicated topic. Not everyone’s endocrine system is wired the same way, and you can’t always just willpower your way through it.
Insistence that willpower is sufficient for weight regulation is a big cause of people going on diet after diet that just doesn’t work. They’re fighting against the system that has a disproportionate influence on what you want in the first place, and if you push it too far you find yourself not giving a shit about your diet, and then being filled with a slew of complex feelings coming from your “lack of self control”.
It’s better to direct that energy towards getting your diet compositionally right than trying to be okay just being hungry.
You can’t get your body to stop insisting it needs food, but you can get it to insist less often. You can teach it that it doesn’t need “SUGAR”, it needs water and maybe an apple or banana. You can give it a little solid protein between meals to keep it from asking for a continuous stream of carbs.
You can learn to identify the difference between eating because you’re bored or want a little dopamine, and eating because you’re hungry. The first one is your brain and you can willpower through it to eventually unlearn the habit.
You can choose to make good choices at the store instead of failing to make them in the kitchen.
Willpower is critical, but it’s important to know what you can or cannot actually solve with it and work within that framework.
You’re in control of your body, but that doesn’t mean that you need to pick the harder path.
And, for some people, their endocrine system is a lot more forgiving. Those usually aren’t the people who have a lot of trouble loosing or keeping off weight because they try to just “eat less” and it works.
I am all about keeping it sustainable; nobody has willpower longterm. Any fool can come up with a diet of rabbit food and have amazing results for a month before their brain goes postal on them and they start inhaling cheeseburgers nonstop. Trust me, I totally get that. We always attribute vast reserves of motivation and discipline to ourselves that we just don’t have, and the results aren’t pretty.
But on the other side of the coin, your brain can get stuck in a short-term reward loop, and it howls blue murder when you first try to break out of it.
I’m an stress-eater and a boredom-eater, and if the loop gets out of control, not constantly snacking becomes stressful in and of itself, and yeah that’s a complete trainwreck.
But what I’ve found is that after a surprisingly short time of acclimating yourself to controlled amounts of hunger, you can break that loop. Your brain re-learns the difference between not-full and actually-need-calories, and only sees the latter as a problem.
What started out feeling like a catastrophe that you had to white-knuckle through just turns into a boring fact that takes little to no willpower at all to put up with at all.
It’s a really good investment of effort, and makes the whole process a lot easier.
Yup, I would definitely agree more with what you’re saying here than what I understood from above.
It definitely takes willpower to lose weight, and you definitely need to learn to identify why you’re eating and break those habits you don’t want, which also takes willpower.
I would characterize boredom/stress/comfort eating differently than hunger, since there’s the distinction between “want to eat” and “feel hungry”.
Whatever your reason is for wanting to eat, you need to handle it. If it’s boredom, you can use willpower to push through chips being more interesting than the show you’re watching, ideally by doing something else.
If you want to eat because you’re hungry, there isn’t a way to handle that beyond eating. So the smart move is to make choices about what and how you eat so that feeling stays away longer, which goes a long way towards helping to break the habit of feeling like you’re “supposed” to eat more often than you need to.
I think you’re initial comment came across much stronger than I see it is now, and we’re actually very close in terms opinion. :)
Thank you so much for both your posts I’m actually literally going through the exact same thing right now - Also a boredom and stress eater trying to get used to being hungry and honestly I enjoy the process of being hungry and denying myself bullshit food because I know it’s bullshit and a big part of my brain seems to agree and kick in just as you said. It’s a very freeing feeling!!!
I do most of my dieting at the store, I dislike spending money, so it’s really easy to avoid the crap there.
For me it’s all about the list. I’m opposed to spending money in general, but I also enjoy, and am pretty good at, cooking.
If I don’t have a good list, my weakness is to start designing meals based on random ingredients I see at the store, and then I buy the stuff, go home and cook the food, and enjoy too much of it. Beyond eating too much of it, it’s just tricky to design a good dish that’s tasty and also not silly unhealthy while standing in the grocery store.
Took a bit to learn to make a note of the idea in my phone, and then design it at home. Then it can go on the list.
Thanks for saying this. I think the idea that it is just willpower causes so much unnecessary suffering. As someone suffering from an eating disorder and thyroid disease, I was getting a bit down reading all the “it’s just calories in vs calories out” remarks. It is so much more complicated than that.
For many, many folk, it is simply cal in vs out.
If you’ve some condition that affects metabolism, then yes, that sort of advice is not the best.
Everybody is different so advice varies. For instance, some people do very well with carbs and grains. Other people’s bodies scavenge every carb and store it as fat so a high fiber, high fat diet works better for them since fat is satiating and a source of energy, Contrary to popular opinion fat does not make you fat unless it is combined with carbs, like a hamburger bun, fries and large Coke. Then again this only applies to good fats like salmon, sardines, olive oil and grass-fed meat, not the rancid vegetable oil that are pushed on us today - they actually cause allergy problems that contribute to weight gain.
The 350 pound lady is starving because her system stored all the carbs she ate - your body needs about a teaspoon of sugar in its system to run and she doesn’t have enough in her system to run her body.
Good fats moderate a lot of metabolism problems for a certain groups of people.
Our whole food industry is based on selling carbs. Try to buy food that aren’t carbed up - it isn’t easy. No wonder we have a weight problem in this country. Hungry? Try cutting carbs way back, increasing fiber and good fats - don’t forget potatoes, carrots and most fall crops in general tend to be high carb foods so eat salads, cabbage and leafy greens with olive oil and vinegar dressing, for instance. Carb addiction is real so give your diet change some time. Oh yeah, stay away from processed foods - they contribute to weight gain too.
Again, this may not apply to you in the least, but forget the old carbs in, carbs burned shit. It simply doesn’t apply to some people.
This is a joke, right?
Insistence that willpower is sufficient for weight regulation is a big cause of people going on diet after diet that just doesn’t work.
No, that’s caused by a specific lack of willpower. Going on diet after diet is exactly why focusing on being ok with being hungry is so important.
Get a clue.
And people should just “choose to be happy” too, right?
Learn how biology works. Willpower helps you execute a a desire even when it’s uncomfortable. Your hormonal systems control what you desire in the first place. If you’re just trying to ignore your body, it will eventually inform you that you no longer care about weight loss.
Willpower based diets and weigh loss strategies are mostly driven by people who sell them who take advantage of the “intuitive” nature of what boils down to “don’t eat even if you’re hungry”.
If you do lose some weight, which you likely will at first, it’s because the diet works. If you don’t or you fall out of adherence, it’s because you’re not good enough.
That’s why essentially all research on the topic says you should use your willpower to change what you eat and your activity level, and let those drive the weight loss.
It’s easier and more effective to use your willpower to make positive choices than it is to enforce restrictions on yourself.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10015774/
Next time you need to get more done, just try sleeping less and you’ll have a whole six or seven more hours a day to work.
You definitely won’t spend your time being distracted by how tired your are, or spending more time thinking about sleep than if you had spent less effort and willpower on making a schedule that made better time management choices.
He’s saying what you’re attributing to “a specific lack of willpower” now has scientific backing that disagrees. Your take is old school and misinformed if the current science is correct. I personally haven’t done research on the subject or read many studies but Adam Ragusea, a YouTube food science journalist covers this concept in one of his vids and several podcasts surrounding food science and (in my case) the drugs coming down the pipeline to regulate body weight touch on the research as well.
Learning to cope with discomfort is a very important, and very often disregarded, life skill.
Not really. Especially when talking about physical pain.
You should not be in discomfort all the time. This is the kind of thinking that prevents people from going to the doctor. Pain isn’t normal.
This. Really. If it actually hurts to get hungry perhaps you have Helicobacter pylori. Let that get sorted out.
I’m pretty skinny, but I hate being hungry. I wish I were better about tolerating hunger, and it’s something I could work on, but it’s not a requisite skill. Just in case that’s useful info for somebody.
Ricecake’s comment is great. Wanting to eat is also often not actually hunger, and being able to distinguish between sensations is a skill. For example, I always think I’m really hungry the days before menstruating, and I do eat more, but often it’s stomach cramps and hormonal changes that food does not satisfy. You’d be surprised at how long it’s taken to see that pattern.
You’re saying people should just deal with hunger and fight against everything evolution wants, instead of just eating high fiber food and not being hungry…
How is that “better”?
Evolution’s impact on our hunger was driven by scarcity. Most humans don’t experience the levels of scarcity that drove that evolution.
So, yes, you should work against evolution. This is true for a lot of aspects of the human condition.
Except, and this is what I think they were saying, your body is wired to demand food even if it doesn’t strictly need it. You can’t win that battle long term.
Instead you work with your dumb meat sack and eat healthy foods that keep you from feeling hungry for a longer time.
If your diet strategy involves almost everyone who tries it failing, and those who succeed almost always have their progress backslide in a few years, then maybe the problem is with the strategy rather than an intrinsic character flaw in the people trying it.
Evolution isn’t divine, it’s random mutation that generally benefits it’s current environment. Considering most of our evolutionary traits emerged thousands, if not millions, of years ago… I’d say we can safely conclude that a lot of our evolutionary instincts aren’t especially relevant to our current circumstances.
The eating issue is less evolution and more societal.
Society is the one who says we should eat 3 meals a day, not evolution.
Evolution would rather we ate more often throughout the day.
Think of it like a gas tank. Currently people fill it up and wait for it to get empty before filling up again.
When the reality is its better to always keep a half a tank for emergencies.
Just drinking more water helps a lot to feel full.
Staying active also, is not just good for increasing your caloric needs, it’s also a great way to be busy, and substitute eating out of boredom.
Have you ever… Considered the disadvantages of drinking too much water all the time?
Drinking too much water is pretty difficult. You must be talking about the consequence of drinking a healthy amount of water, which is peeing every hour or so. On the one hand, yes, it’s really annoying to be in the middle of something and have to go take a piss. On the other hand,
My boss makes a dollar, I make a dime
That’s why I piss on company time
That little clicker in the brain that goes off when you’ve had enough doesn’t really work for me. I have to feel physically full or I still feel hungry. Even worse, my dopamine levels are garbage and eating makes me feel good.
Not saying this doesn’t work. Only that I’m far from the only one where it is this simple.
I’m like you, and no it’s not simple. As others said, calories in, calories out. Nothing else matters, you need to find your own way to keep it. And no, exercise does not help much with weight, only if paired with a good diet. You would need to work out for hours continuously just to lose the calories from a random extra dessert.
But, you can do it. Two things I wish I had known:
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For example, my body was able to keep my weight instead of losing it if I kept calories intake where it should be and had a “cheat day” once a week at most. No cheat days for me, my body is too smart for that.
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Sometimes you feel you are on track, and then you get stuck at a certain weight. Even if you keep your diet, you might get stuck at a certain weight despite losing it well beforehand. Keep at it. You will break through at one point, closer than you think. But you have to keep at it.
It is not as simple as just calories in vs calories out. Your body has a setting point for what weight it thinks it should be. Once you are overweight, your setting point will be higher and your body wants to get back to that higher weight. It will start working actively against you. This might mean your appetite will increase and your metabolism will slow down. I think that is what you are describing here.
Trying to push yourself to lose more weight despite your body working against you can cause rebound weight gain if you are not able to keep the diet (which might become increasingly difficult due to increasing appetite). The most important thing is to keep a healthy diet that does not reduce your quality of life too much and is doable on the long term, I think. If you are struggling everyday, then it might be better to eat a little bit more and stay on a higher weight a bit longer to ensure that you will maintain the weight loss.
Maybe this is already what you meant. But the phrase “calories in vs calories out” and stating that nothing else matters made me want to respond. I think it is a popular oversimplification that causes a lot of unnecessary suffering for people trying to lose weight.
Despite what others are saying, I think you are right in a lot of ways.
There definitely is a set point where your body feels comfortable. You can get above and below a few kilos, and your body will return to that set point if you return to what you eat normally. That’s why it’s hard, to move the set point, you have to get around 5 under and keep at it. So when you are 5 under and your weight loss suddenly stops, that’s when you really started to push the kilos down, that’s why it suddenly gets harder. And you should go that 5 kilos past your set point because you will gain it back when you stop eating less.
With me, with a resting consumption of around 1800 kcal, how it went is that I did 6 months of trying to keep it below 1500 kcal, targeting 1400 if I can - but no less, and more or less kept it. My results have been going from 124 kg to 110 then rebounding to 114, then another round of doing the same got me from 114 to 100 then rebound to 104. After the ~4 kg rebound, it stabilized. Just now, a month after finishing, I just ate nothing but shitty McDonalds for 3 days (have been on the road a lot) and my weight went from 104.2 to 103.9.
I guess what I’m saying is that your only real way of affecting the system is cals in vs cals out, but as you say, the inside of the system is not simple. Also, don’t crash diet, and even if you feel like eating less on one day for some reason, keep your diet from the other side as well. Every time I ate less than 1400, the next day I fucked it up and went to 1800-ish, every single time. It makes it much harder.
This is propaganda from companies that want you to keep gorging on their slop instead of natural portions of food.
Feeling full is about volume of food. With high calorie dense foods like fast food, that’s going to be a ton of calories. With low calorie dense foods you can eat the same amount of food, and eat substantially less calories.
The only thing that matters in weight loss is calories in, calories out.
I get that it’s harder for some people, but finding less calorie dense foods that you enjoy will go a long way towards helping lose weight. Also, don’t drink pop unless it’s diet.
I fucked my “clicker” up with too large portions, which expanded my stomach over the years. i was NEVER satiated, because i had no way of filling my stomach up. I was always hungry. In the end and after many years of fighting my massive overweight i went for an stomach bypass. If someone tells you that this is the easy way out: they are full of shit. You have to relearn eating, and 1) that really sucks and 2) that was exactly what i needed, No more feeling hungry is a blessing.
If you would accept a suggestion: Just fast for a few days. Your stomach will shrink and you can go back to eating normal portions after. Plus it’s good for the soul, there’s a reason so many religions recommend it.
Certain fruits can be very high in sugars, also not a great idea. Focus more on veggies
A family member was eating nothing but fruit and really messed himself up. I forget exactly what happened but he lost muscle control on one side of his body.
Holy fuck we hit 74%? Goddamn
Percent of adolescents ages 12–19 years with obesity: 22.2% (2017-March 2020)
Percent of children ages 6–11 years with obesity: 20.7% (2017-March 2020)
Percent of children ages 2–5 years with obesity: 12.7% (2017-March 2020)
This shit is child abuse people. Not ok.
