Customers hitting on people at their job.
Was eating lunch at a bar one time when three dude bros came in and started hitting on the bartender. They weren’t overly aggressive but it was obnoxious.
She handled it really well. She looked each of them in the eye, smiled, introduced herself and shook each of their hands in turn. She stated she was a professional and appreciated being treated like one. She was friendly but firm.
Shut them right the fuck up. They behaved much better after that.
This one’s a pet peeve, especially if the person is with me. IMO it’s one of the simplest ways to discover your friend likely has zero game with people who aren’t paid to be nice to them.
ETA: In case you feel called out and are wondering
“What, so bartenders and waitstaff are totally off-limits?”
Of course not! You can shoot your shot, just try to keep it holstered until you’re (1) on even footing instead of a customer-host advantage and (2) aren’t cornering them in a place they must stay to make a living. For example, you could hold off until the bill is paid and/or they’re off the clock, then ask for digits on your way out (signaling you have no intention of bothering them further if there’s no interest) or give your number so the ball is fully in their court. Of course, if they shoot their shot first, rules of engagement are suspended. Mine did and she’s alright I guess. The above are her suggestions.
Bragging about sexual conquests.
If I wanted to know about your sex life I’d ask for your Only Fans.
Gonna take the hit on this one: a Joe Rogan bro. You probably know what I’m talking about, but to be more clear: aggro “alpha male,” gym rat or has a weirdly intense workout routine, takes a bunch of supplements, ready to believe anything pitched as “they don’t want you to know this,” weird diets of meat, “edgy” humor that’s more nodding and agreeing with prejudices than being funny, etc. Oh and listens to Joe Rogan willingly.
There’s nothing toxic about working out and getting strong, taking supplements etc. As long as you’re not harming yourself or other people then I see nothing wrong with it.
My dearly beloved ham casserole, I don’t think going to the gym was the toxic trait here.
Not understanding boundaries and not having/setting them and respecting others’.
You don’t owe shit to anyone and if they make you feel bad, they are often manipulating you. What you choose to do needs to be a hard yes from yourself otherwise its going through motions and can often be inauthentic which is inherently harmful to your sense and integrity of Self
People naturally test these limits and breach them all the time so it happens but you must train yourself to assert your will for yourself and how you respond to trespasses by setting those limits and then strongly upholding them when it comes time to address the opposing force, definitely for those who continue despite knowing the rules of the game you’ve set for yourself
to combine all 3 of the above, i worked with a joe rogan bro who would come up and show me a video of him having abusive sex with a hidden camera footage that the partner wasnt even aware of, to brag about his weekend conquest, then tell me how he stole her soul with surprise anal. then he dared me to show him something better next week.
The need to make everything into a competition or to one-up any story or anecdote.
Were talking about the fellas, why even bring this up besides as some weird defensive thing?
That’s nothing!
Ever seen a group of guys stuck in a terminal one-downsmanship spiral of mutual unaccountability?
It’s epic bro. Totally blows the doors off your example.
That reminds me of a story, buddy and me fell overboard and when someone threw us a lifesaver he bet me I couldn’t lap the boat before getting rescued. Long story short we did six laps and we’re both dead now.
