84 points

Johnny was a chemists son. But Johnny is no more. What Johnny thought was H20, Was H2S04.

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29 points
*

H20

H2O

H2S04

H2SO4

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11 points

H2Pizzle

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15 points

The one I remember from school was phrased slightly differently (but same concept) :

Poor little Jimmy is lying on the floor, for what he thought was H2O was H2SO4

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6 points

Two chemists enter a bar. One orders a glass of H2O. The other chemist says I’ll have a glass of H2O too. He bleached his throat and died.

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82 points

Are you even sciencing if you don’t drink some piss you found in a beaker somewhere?

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80 points
*

Observation: this looks like piss} Question: is this piss?} Hypothesis: this is probably piss} Experiment: drink the piss} Analysis: tastes like piss} Conclusion: it’s piss

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20 points

Sometimes it be like that.

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12 points

could also check for urea content, or proteins, but sure why not drink it

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13 points

I mean, drinking it (well tasting) used to be the legit way of testing it.

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7 points

same thing

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5 points

Yeah, check for all of that using the high fidelity, self calibrating sensory cluster.

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7 points

Inconclusive: the data is also a perfect fit for domestic American light beer.

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5 points

How do you know it tastes like piss if you’ve never tasted piss before?

Better piss in a cup and taste it to make sure we get a nice baseline.

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1 point

Thats my schoolmate, he licks everything. Including liquid nitrogen.

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14 points

This is probably worse than piss.

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2 points

Rivella?

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7 points

Apple juice

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6 points

Almdudler

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1 point

Mountain Dew

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1 point

Piss + THF

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1 point

Worse health-wise, but probably not worse in how disgusting one would think it is to drink.

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8 points

Well, you could say beer is yeast piss.

I’ll have another (lab brewed yeast piss. From malted grain. Sometimes with hops)

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6 points

“Sinking piss” is Australian for drinking.

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4 points

malted grain

You mean aborted barley fetuses?

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3 points

My mistake!

Roasted fetal barley abortions.

Thanks for the wake up

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49 points

distilled water, lab grade ethanol, a couple drops of limonene, and there you go

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32 points

Sadly the Erlenmeyer flask was previously used for some nasty water soluble compounds and just looks clean.

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21 points

rinse -> acetic acid -> rinse -> Acqua regia-> Rinse -> Pirahna solution -> Rinse -> 500°C oven -> Rinse

I would then drink from it without even worrying

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10 points

Is NileRed then too cautious when he only uses fresh breakers for stuff he is going to eat?

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16 points

Don’t forget the phase-change cooling from the addition of solid state H20.

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7 points

H2O, not H20.

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19 points

No, they’re talking about a ridiculously high mass isotope of Hydrogen. Turns out it has some wacky properties.

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1 point

lab grade ethanol

That’s usually methylated spirit. It probably won’t kill you, but you’ll lose your vision.

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4 points

methylated spirits are the ones used for cleaning, lab grade ethanol needs to be just ethanol or some reactions might fail, however in some badly managed labs you might find mislabeled stuff and have contaminants

still, you shouldn’t drink it anyways, as some producers use the highly carcinogenic benzene to make pure 100% ethanol, as distillation with water can only get you up to the 95,6% azeotrope, and some benzene might make it’s way in the product

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2 points

I see. I’ve only used ethanol for disinfection, and it was always methylated.

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31 points

I remember reading about a chemistry teacher found dead one morning. he had a habit of consuming the laboratory’s ethanol after hours, and the night before had accidentally poured himself a glass of methanol

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3 points

Methanol: not even once

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30 points

This makes me think of NileRed

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9 points

“Today we are making burgers from pocket lint and sodium hydroxide”

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2 points

“And next time, I’ll make baby toys that glow in the dark with Uranium”

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2 points

Love this guy! Real life alchemist right here

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